The Words to Lemuel

This section is the only one in this book where a king is directly addressed. It is also an entire chapter that comes from a woman filled with Divine wisdom. The teaching in the first section includes two warnings (Pro 31:2-7) and an advice (Pro 31:8-9). The mother warns her son, the king, about the dangers of sexuality and drinking. She takes her time and is frank about it. Even today, it is important for parents to speak frankly and clearly with their children about these topics. If we warn children in their youth, they will heed it when they get older (Pro 22:6).

Lemuel means ‘devoted to God’ or ‘belonging to God’. His name occurs only here. Lemuel was taught by his mother. It was “the oracle” or “the burden” she had on her heart. This fits with the way teaching is passed on in the book of Proverbs. The book began with the words of a father to his son: “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction” (Pro 1:8a). There the father also says to him: “And do not forsake your mother’s teaching” (Pro 1:8b). This teaching is given in detail in this last chapter.

It confirms the great influence mothers have on their children. The books of 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles often mention the name of a king’s mother (1Kgs 11:26; 1Kgs 14:21; 1Kgs 15:2; 2Chr 12:13; 2Chr 13:2; 2Chr 20:31). It is a great blessing to have a God-fearing mother (2Tim 1:5; 2Tim 3:15). Lemuel’s mother is honored by God because He reserves an entire chapter in His Word for her teaching. This proves the value of her words for every generation throughout the centuries up to today. After his mother, his own wife is the second woman who has a great influence on a man. About her value Lemuel’s mother speaks from Pro 31:10.

Her words also apply to us. After all, we are kings (Rev 1:6). We do not yet exercise kingship, but we do possess its dignity and should therefore behave ‘kingly’. Therefore, we should take the warnings of the mother to heart.

Appeal to Listen to Advice

In the threefold use of the word “what” we hear the passionate desire of the mother that her son will respond to his high calling. She speaks as one who ponders what advice she will give her son, so full of concern is she for him. The question, which is at the same time a call, comes like a deep sigh from the heart of the mother who is concerned about the well-being of her son. She wants to tell him what is for his benefit and to do so in words, which strike him and linger: “The words of wise men are like goads, and masters of [these] collections are like well-driven nails; they are given by one Shepherd” (Ecc 12:11).

The mother speaks to her son penetratingly in a voice full of love. She wants his full attention. The triple repetition of “son” shows the seriousness of the warning. She first calls him “my son”. This indicates her direct relationship with him. Next, she addresses him as “the son of my womb”. By this she is saying that he is her own son; he is not adopted, but born of her. Finally, she calls him “son of my vows”. This indicates that she had consecrated him to the LORD. This recalls what Hannah did to Samuel (1Sam 1:11). Like Hannah, she will no doubt have prayed a lot for this child, both before and after his birth (1Sam 1:28).

Warning Against Women

The first danger she points out to him is that of women. She warns him not to give his “strength to women”. Her warning is that he should not spend his time satisfying his sexual desires. There are plenty of women around him, but he should not focus his attention on them. If he does, his strength will be consumed by it. He will no longer have strength to perform his actual task as king.

A lot of kings have been rendered powerless in the exercise of their kingship by giving in to their sexual lusts. Among them are David and especially Solomon. They experienced to their shame in their life the truth of what the mother says here (2Sam 12:9-10; 1Kgs 11:11; Neh 13:26). It is not wrong to have a wife. He who has had a wife has received a great gift from God. What is wrong, sinful and pernicious is to have more than one.

Warning Against Wine

The other danger, often associated with the danger of women, is becoming dependent on drink (Pro 31:4; Hos 4:11; Rev 17:2). Wine in itself is not wrong (Jdg 9:13; Psa 104:15). It is wrong to drink too much of it. For a king this applies even more emphatically. He should neither drink it nor ask for it. It is about the excessive use of alcohol or the need for it because of the constant pressure on him. Anyone who wants to be able to rule a people well must first of all be able to rule himself. In this Noah failed when he was given the government over the cleansed earth (Gen 9:1-7; 20-24).

The mother holds out to him the consequence of excessive drinking: then he “will ... forget what is decreed” (Pro 31:5). He will forget the king’s law, in which God has told him how to behave to be a good king (Deu 17:17-20). Drink clouds the mind. Those who are drunk no longer see things clearly and cannot make just judgments in disputes.

A drunken king is repugnant (1Kgs 16:8-9; 1Kgs 20:16). As for speaking justice in a trial, he will do no more than “pervert the rights of all the afflicted”. None of the afflicted will receive his right because the king is clouded in his mind. In addition, the rich who exploit the afflicted can manipulate him (cf. Hos 7:5). They will surely predict to him what judgment he should make.

Pro 31:6-7 are most likely meant to be sarcastic. It cannot be a serious advice that strong drink is better given to people who are in agony (“who is perishing”), who are severely depressed (“whose life is bitter”), or who are in “poverty” and “trouble”. The advice would then be: Just give them so much spirits and wine that they get drunk. Then they will forget their misery and stop thinking about it. This advice cannot be meant seriously because the problems have not disappeared, but are still very much alive when the intoxication is over. Then they just have to drink again. In this way it becomes an addiction. It is much more so, that people who are perishing or bitter sorrow need God’s Word, understanding and practical help.

For a king who is under high pressure, who is looked up to and from whom justice is expected, the use of alcohol is not an option. He must not shirk his responsibilities or seek relief from them by ‘drinking’. A king who knows that his task has been given to him by God will expect everything from God for the performance of that task. Then he will get what he needs.

The advice King Lemuel receives from his mother is also important for us. We are kings and may reign with the Lord Jesus (Rev 1:6). We do not reign as kings yet, but we do have the dignity of a king. We forfeit that dignity through wrong dealing with sexuality and drink. When we give in to the lust for these, we lose the purity and simplicity of our devotion to the Lord (cf. Rev 14:4-5) and become objects of contempt and manipulation.

Open Your Mouth to Judge Righteously

The mother tells her son, the king, not to open his mouth to pour wine into it, but to be a voice “for a mute” (Pro 31:8). This does not mean someone who cannot speak. It may be about someone who is too timid to say anything. Someone may also be dumbfounded because of the unjust accusations or verbal violence of the opposing party. In any case, it is about someone who cannot speak for himself to defend his own case.

The king must also open his mouth to pronounce justice “for the rights of all the unfortunate”. They may have words, but the power to speak these words is lacking. In both cases, it requires the understanding of the circumstances of those who are miserable and turn to him for a just verdict.

The king here seems to be both lawyer and judge. As a lawyer, he has made himself one with the cause of the mute and of all the unfortunate in Pro 31:8. This allows him to act as a judge in Pro 31:9. Because he has not drunk wine, but has remained clear in his mind, he is able to open his mouth and judge righteously and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy (cf. 2Sam 14:4-11; 1Kgs 3:16-28; Psa 45:2-4; Psa 72:4; Isa 9:5-6).

The Value of the Excellent Wife

Introduction to Pro 31:10-31

Much has been written in the previous chapters about woman Folly, about foolish, wrong women. Even in this last chapter we still hear the warning against her from the mouth of Lemuel’s mother to her son (Pro 31:3). That is why it is so beautiful that the book concludes with a song of praise to woman Wisdom, to the woman in the full value she has for God, for her husband and for her children.

Wisdom is personified by a woman because, because of the variety of applications, woman is an excellent example of wisdom. Everywhere she is, her wisdom is seen, and in everything she is involved with, we see how wise she is. We see her at home, in the marketplace, in proving charity and in business. By personifying wisdom, the author makes all the lessons concrete.

We see her in action in everyday life. She is called “someone weaker” (1Pet 3:7). Yet she acts powerfully. The cause of this is her fear of God and her wisdom. As a result, she does her work diligently and at the same time quietly and in a controlled manner. We see these qualities in her commitment to her husband and children, in how she deals with her staff and in her business pursuits. She is decisive in her actions without abandoning her place as a wife next to her husband. She honors her husband, who is honored in the gate. Her behavior is such that he trusts her completely in everything she does. She is honored by her husband, her children and her works.

This song of praise to the woman is an example or model for all women who want to develop a life of wisdom. But because it is about the essence of wisdom, what is said of her contains important lessons not only for women but also for men. This section teaches that the fear of the LORD inspires women as well as men to be faithful stewards of the time and talents God has given to them. This stewardship is best taught and lived out in the family atmosphere. The wisdom with which this stewardship is exercised is manifested in a balanced life, where attention is given both to household tasks and to business dealings and the rendering of charity.

This tribute to the woman is written in the particular style form we find in the book of Psalms, among others: Psalms 9; 10; 25; 34; 37; 111; 112; 119; 145. That form is called ‘acrostic’. In an acrostic, the first word of each verse or group of verses begins with a subsequent letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The acrostic begins in Pro 31:10 with the first letter, the aleph, and ends in Pro 31:31 with the last letter, the taw.

That the entire alphabet is used to sing of the excellent wife may symbolically indicate that we have a complete description of her, that nothing is missing. It is a completed whole. It has been pointed out that love is not mentioned. But would a commitment such as this wife shows be possible without love being the motive? We see a wife joyfully performing her duties. If we want a description of the relationship of love between husband and wife, we can turn to the book of Song of Songs. In Proverbs 31 it is about the wife’s commitment to her husband that is visible in everything she does.

The description of this wife is not one that applies without question to every wife. The wife presented here is a wealthy and distinguished person with, like her husband, a high social position. She runs a house with an estate and servants. She deals in real estate, vineyards and merchandise. The domestic affairs are under her control and she is doing charity, for which she also has the means. There are not many wives in such a position with those circumstances.

It is apparently more about the general idea, what a wife is capable of when fully guided by wisdom. The ideal wife is presented, the perfect wife, the committed help of her husband, upright, God-fearing, economical and wise. The characteristics mentioned will be found in every God-fearing woman according to the measure of her abilities. It is about making herself available to others. Therefore, this section also applies to the God-fearing man.

Behind the description of this wife we see the picture of the church as the Lamb’s wife, or the church as the Lord Jesus sees it, in its perfection, without defect. In practice, He is working through His Word to present it to Himself in this way (Eph 5:26-27). There is often an application of what is said about the excellent wife to the church.

Pro 31:10 The introductory question in the first line of this verse assumes that the wife the mother is about to describe is not easy to find (cf. Pro 20:6; Ecc 7:28). But when she is found, she is a treasure of great value. King Lemuel’s mother has warned him in Pro 31:3 above all not to give his strength to women. Now she is going to teach him about the wife who will be a real help to him. She describes of this wife the characteristics and qualities. This is what he should look for in his search for her.

Her concern is for her son to look for “an excellent wife”. With this, she gives a “total description” at the beginning of the description of qualities. The word “excellent” means: meeting all requirements, reliable, tried and tested, of good quality, in a good, solid way. It means that this wife possesses and practices all the excellencies mentioned of her in this hymn of praise. This wife, like wisdom, is worth more than jewels, indeed, she “is far above” their value (Pro 3:15; Pro 8:11).

Spiritually, we can apply this to the church. The church is the Lamb’s wife, that is, Christ’s. It is to Him “one pearl of great value” for whom He gave and did all to possess it (Mt 13:45-46).

She Looks After the Interests of Her Husband

After establishing the woman’s value, which cannot be expressed in money, there now follows the description of her excellencies, that is, her good qualities, which become apparent in her actions. Before that description follows, it is first said how her husband sees her, what she means to him (Pro 31:11), and vice versa: how she sees him, what he means to her (Pro 31:12). Her husband trusts her with his whole heart. Not love, but trust is the most important foundation of a good marriage. Love may be less at times, but trust must always be fully present. A trusting husband and a faithful wife form an indissoluble union.

Her husband goes out the door in the morning to go to work in full confidence in her (Psa 104:23). When he closes the door behind him, so to speak, he does so with complete confidence in his heart that she will look after his interests at home while he is away. He confidently leaves everything to her, allowing him to focus fully on his task in society.

She stands in stark contrast to the adulterous woman who takes advantage of her husband’s absence to commit adultery (Pro 7:18-19). The same contrast is with the women whom the prophet Amos calls “cows of Bashan” and of whom he says they command their husband: “Bring now, that we may drink!” (Amos 4:1).

She in no way betrays the trust her husband has in her. His property is in safe, trusted hands with her (Pro 31:11). His wife is not a spendthrift; she is not a wasteful wife, but one who manages his possessions with wisdom. When he comes home from work, she has not misused any of his possessions. In any marriage, and especially if there is a large household, such confidence in her commitment to him and his house with all its possessions is essential.

His wife “does him good and not evil” (Pro 31:12) because she is committed to him. Were she to do him not good but evil, she would do the same to herself. In a good marriage, husband and wife are always out to do good to each other and will never seek to do evil to each other. Here the emphasis is on the wife’s actions. She is in a position where her husband has entrusted her with everything and she has great freedom of action. But everything she does, she does with him in mind. She illustrates in her life what Paul writes: “One who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (1Cor 7:34b).

In this way she acts not incidentally, when it suits her at times, but “all the days of her life”. It points to her continued faithfulness in marriage. She remains faithful to the oath she swore when she married him: until death separates her from him. Even when they have both grown old, she continues to do him good.

She is independent, but not self-centered. Her pursuits serve not to develop herself, but to support her husband. She is focused on him and not on her career. There is no question of her taking a path separate from her husband, as often happens and is encouraged in our modern society.

This relationship of trust and doing good pictures how the Lord Jesus trusts His church. He knows her, cares for her, and trusts her to look after His interests on earth while He is absent. That the church as a whole has become unfaithful to Him is not the aspect highlighted here. The issue here is that He sees in faithful, committed believers the faithfulness and commitment He values.

She Provides Clothing and Food

In Pro 31:13, the enumeration of activities begins. She appears to be a wife of whom the adornment, “as it suits women who confess to be pious”, consists of “good works” (1Tim 2:10). Her first concern is that the family be well clothed (Pro 31:13). She neither buys the clothes nor outsources the making of them. She might well do that because, after all, she has the means to do so. She does not even buy the fabrics for the clothing in the market, but the raw materials “wool and flax”, to make the fabric herself. Even purchasing the raw materials she does with care. “She looks for”, meaning she tries to get the best material.

Once she has the raw materials, she goes to work. She does not work reluctantly, but with pleasure. This is evident from the expression that she “works with her hands in delight”. Wool comes from sheep and flax grows on the land. Wool is made into clothing that keeps the body warm when it is cold. From flax, linen is made for airy clothing more suitable for warmer days. She has the appropriate clothing for every temperature.

As a spiritual application, the following can be said of this. If it is about the wool, it indicates that the church is a place where there is a warm or loving interest in each member. Linen represents righteous deeds (Rev 19:8). The church is also a place where each is given what he is entitled to. Each is recognized for his specific qualities. Space is given to develop them.

The church looks for that. That means that the church prays for that. It seeks from the Lord what it needs to radiate loving interest and justice.

In addition to providing clothing, she also provides food (Pro 31:14). Just as she diligently seeks out the materials for the clothing she makes, she also diligently seeks out the food. In her search for it, she is compared, not to “a merchant ship” but to “merchant ships”. There is versatility in her activities to get food. She takes the best from everywhere. It is “her food” and she “brings” it “from afar”. It is food from which she lives and which she also gives to her house. She has no food for her household members other than what she herself eats.

The spiritual application is about the spiritual food for the church and for all who belong to it. That food comes “from afar”, from heaven, where Christ is. He nourishes and cherishes the church (Eph 5:29), that is, He gives it food and warmth.

The food must not only be purchased but also prepared and put on the table (Pro 31:15). For breakfast, this must be done before everyone wakes up and comes to the table. She does not instruct the maidens to prepare and set everything, but she does it herself. For that, she gets out of bed early. She wants to make sure that her husband, her children and also the maidens start the day with a good meal.

The church is made up of believers who aim to serve each other with the food of God’s Word. They realize they need each other in this. One learns from the other. The believers are not only members of God’s house with all the privileges that go with it, but they also all have a task. To perform that task well, they need the strength of the food of God’s Word. Each receives his assigned portion, as much as is needed to perform the service.

Her Sound Financial Management

After taking care of her family and all who belong to it, she has her hands free to take actions that increase the family budget (Pro 31:16). She increases her husband’s income. In this part of the enumeration, we see that the wife is also a good businesswoman who invests wisely. There is no foolish buying or going into debt here. After acquiring the field, she plants a vineyard from her earnings.

The spiritual application is about the things we set our sights on. A field is an area that is worked in order to grow something on it and benefit from it. After the field there is a vineyard. A vineyard speaks of joy. In this context, we can see the field as a picture of the family. The church is also made up of families. Every family that lives for God is a joy to Him. We can also buy a field for ourselves (Lk 14:18). Then we think only of our own pleasure and leave God out of it. This is inconsistent with the church’s calling.

Everything she does, she does with the use of all her strength (Pro 31:17). To gird oneself means that the clothing is pulled up and tied around the hips so that walking can be done unhindered. At the same time, the girdle gives strength to the hips. An arm is also a symbol of strength. She makes her arms strong. She does not possess that strength in herself. She is a God-fearing wife (Pro 31:30). That means her strength lies in her dealings with God.

The church has no strength in itself. It strengthens itself in the Lord and in the power of His strength (Eph 6:10).

While she is busy, “she senses that her gain is good” (Pro 31:18). She evaluates what she has done and sees positive results. This encourages her to continue in this way. She is busy late into the night. Of course, she needs her rest and sleep and will not work through the night. It is about her commitment. It is not limited to a number of hours specified in a contract.

It says of Anna that she was “serving night and day with fastings and prayers” (Lk 2:37). This is also does not mean that Anna never slept. It is about what characterized her. So it is with this wife. That her lamp does not go out at night may also mean that her house is spared disasters that come upon the wicked (Job 18:6; Jer 25:10).

When the church lives with the Lord and seeks and finds in Him its strength, it sees that its work is blessed. We see this especially at the beginning of the book of Acts (Acts 2:47). The church lives in the night of the world. Then its lamp should not go out, but burn brightly. This points to the testimony it gives of Him Who is the light of the world. We may all give that testimony individually. It can also be seen in our homes (cf. Exo 10:23).

She Works for the Family and the Poor

She has bought raw materials for clothing (Pro 31:13) and done her business. In the evening, by the light of the lamp (Pro 31:18), she is going to process the wool and flax into cloth (Pro 31:19), from which she can then make clothes. She knows how to use the spinning wheel. We see her skill in the description.

The church should also know how to make clothing, that is, it should be aware of the ways in which it is clothed with spiritual clothing. Thus believers are clothed with the garments of salvation and with the robe of righteousness (Isa 61:10). Paul knew how to clothe believers with these, that is, he explained to them what their position in Christ is. Believers are clothed with Christ. Especially in the letter to the Ephesians, Paul explains what that means.

The wife cares for her family, but in doing so she does not forget those who are poor and needy (Pro 31:20). She is socially compassionate. Possibly she also made clothes for them, or at least distributed to them from what she had (cf. Acts 9:36-39). That she extends her hand to the poor person means that she gives to him willingly and generously (Psa 112:9). She does not rebuff him with a tip. Stretching out her hands to the needy adds the thought of compassion. These are the hands that have been hard and skillful at work and not the hands of a lazy, rich woman. She uses her zeal in a generous and compassionate way.

The church may share what it has acquired in spiritual understanding with those less fortunate. She is not isolated in the world and does not sit in a corner with a book selfishly enjoying all the truths. There are many people who are spiritually poor and needy. To them she will extend her hand and to them she will stretch out her hands and distribute the spiritual blessings she has discovered.

She thinks not only of here and now, but also of the future (Pro 31:21). Winter is coming again. Every wife who has a family to manage starts thinking again about winter clothes at the end of summer. She wants to prepare her family well for the coming cold. When the cold comes, her family wears warm clothes. The clothes are not only warm, but also attractive. Husband and children look well groomed. She has taste.

The cold in the world does not bother her, for she provides a benevolent warmth of love in her home. Similarly, the church keeps the cold of the world at bay when warmth and love are present in it. Especially now this is desperately needed because we know that the end of all things is near (1Pet 4:7). The coldness of God’s judgments is slowly coming on. That is why we are told that above all we are to have fervent love for one another (1Pet 4:8).

She and Her Husband

In caring for others, she does not forget to care for herself as well (Pro 31:22). The “coverings” give her warmth. Her clothing of “fine linen and purple” prove her wealth and high rank. It is reminiscent of the rich man about whom the Lord Jesus tells, who was also clothed in purple and fine linen (Lk 16:19). The problem was not the clothes he wore, but that he “joyously living in splendor every day” while totally ignoring the poor who lay at his front gate. With him, this woman’s charity was completely absent.

The church has a high calling. Paul talks about this at length in Ephesians 1-3. There he shows the church, as it were, coverings and her worthy clothing. She “has been made pleasant in the Beloved” (Eph 1:6), clothed with Him. Then he calls her to walk “worthy of the calling” with which she has been called (Eph 4:1). How she can do that, he tells the following chapters (Ephesians 4-6).

Her dignity she does not have from herself, but she derives it from her husband (Pro 31:23). The “gate” is the place of the meeting of the elders, of the city council, where court cases are discussed (Rth 4:1-12). Her husband is busy looking after the interests of the city. He does not sit inconspicuously among “the elders of the land”, but is a man of distinction, a well-known leader.

The church is associated with a Husband Who is constantly working for the interests of the city, by which is also meant His church. In Revelation 21, the description of the bride suddenly switches to the city without any explanation (Rev 21:9-10). The bride is the city. The question is whether He is so known everywhere and especially in the gates, the places of judgment, where we can think of the local churches. Is He in control there, is He given authority there?

The expression “sits among the elders” brings to mind Revelation 5, where we see the Lamb in the midst of the elders. The Lamb does not sit, but stands, as if slain. It can also be said of the Lamb that It is known in the gates. As mentioned, the gate is the place of government and administration. The throne of God speaks of that. The seven spirits, sent out from the throne show this. The knowledge that the twenty-four elders have of the Lamb is evidenced by falling down and worshiping, as we read at the end of Revelation 5. When John weeps because there is no one worthy to open the book and break the seals, one of the elders comforts him. This elder is familiar with the Lamb and points John to the Lion from the tribe of Judah.

She Sells and Delivers

She provided for her family, she cared for the poor, and her husband’s position has been clearly presented. Now she goes to work for those around her. She also wants to serve them with her abilities, but she charges a price for her services. This will increase her wealth as well as make the other person richer. What she sells and delivers is quality.

The church has much to offer, but sometimes a price must be asked for it. Truth must be bought (Pro 23:23). The sinner cannot pay anything to be saved. A person is saved by grace (Eph 2:8). But the truth of God’s Word does not come easily to us. Learning the truth takes time and effort.

Wisdom and Prosperity

What characterizes her is reflected in the way she dresses. Her clothing shows who she is (Pro 31:22). In Pro 31:25, her clothing is mentioned again, but now in a different way. Her clothing, what is seen of her, is “strength and dignity”. She is a woman who radiates strength and excellence. Everything about her is dynamic and extremely beautiful. She faces life with a smile every morning. This is not hubris, but firm trust in God Who leads her life and gives her the strength for everything she does.

The church owes all strength and dignity with which it is clothed to the Lord Jesus. Strength and dignity belong to Him and He has placed them on her, clothed her with them (Lk 24:49). Strength and dignity are Divine attributes. They are attributes of God Himself and she exhibits them. In this we see the picture of the church as the Lamb’s wife who has made herself ready in a clothing of linen. On the one hand, she has made that clothing herself, for it speaks of the righteous deeds she has done. On the other hand, that clothing has been given to her, for it is God’s grace that has enabled her to do those righteous deeds (Rev 19:7-8).

That awareness enables the church to “smile at the future”. We can think of this in terms of looking forward to the Lord’s coming for His own and also His coming afterward to earth with His own. She looks forward to what is coming, because everything is connected to Him Who is coming. Therefore, she rejoices in Him Who is coming. She loves His appearing (2Tim 4:8).

The excellent wife is not known as a talker and certainly not as a chatterbox or slanderer (cf. 1Tim 5:13; Tit 2:3). That it says here that she opens her mouth means that she does not usually talk. But when she speaks, words of wisdom come out of her mouth. Then it appears that there is “teaching” on her tongue that she gives in “kindness”.

Her discussions to persuade someone come from a sound mind. And her teaching, the instruction she gives, is trustworthy. The second sentence of Pro 31:26 literally says that “the law of kindness” is on her tongue. What she says does not repel, but invites one to adopt the saying. It is pleasant to listen to her.

Teaching in the church is characterized by wisdom and kindness. Kindness does not mean characterless sweetness. If opponents are to be reprimanded, it should be done in no uncertain terms. Yet it is important that it be done out of kindness, that is, the motive is to win the other person (2Tim 2:24-26).

Before in Pro 31:28-31 others speak about her, the last of her virtues that is pointed to is her watchfulness (Pro 31:27). She does not let herself be deceived by her prosperity, as if because of all her efforts and the desired results, she can now go on her way carefree. No, as she works, she keeps a close eye on everything in her home. There lies the focus of her pursuits. Everything revolves around her family.

She knows what each member of the family is doing. She is alert to who and what enters her family and what the consequences are. This allows her to intervene in time if she perceives something that threatens a family member’s devotion to serving God. Resting on her laurels is not one of them. Even when she is ‘successful’, she does not eat “the bread of idleness”. She does not withdraw complacently to look at the results of her efforts with a sense of self-satisfaction. Her task is not finished as long as she has a family to manage.

Nor should the church believe that all is well and no one can deprive her of the blessings she has. It is against this kind of complacency that Paul warns the Thessalonians. He says to them, while including himself: “So then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober” (1Thes 5:6). The command is: “Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with [an attitude of] thanksgiving” (Col 4:2), “and having done everything, to stand firm” (Eph 6:13).

She and Her Works Are Praised

The characteristics of the excellent wife have been described in detail in the preceding verses. This provokes a response expressing appreciation for her. That appreciation comes from four sides: from her children, from her husband (Pro 31:28-29), from the LORD and from her works (Pro 31:30-31). Of all people, her children and her husband know her best. They are best able to judge the value of who she is and what she does and has done.

“Her children” are the first to speak out (Pro 31:28). They “rise up”. ‘Rising up’ describes an activity that prepares the expression of their esteem (cf. Gen 37:35). It is like rising up to give someone a standing ovation. It is an attitude appropriate to what they are about to say. It expresses not only appreciation but also admiration and reverence. Then they bless her. Thereby, through her, all the glory goes to God Who has blessed her so much. To be praised by the children is worth much more than all the profit she has made from her trade.

“Her husband ... praises her”. He expresses his great appreciation for the support she has always given him and for the commitment with which she has always served him. This has enabled him to fulfill his calling. She has more than excellently managed his family. The family actually belongs to both the husband and the wife, but surely the wife provides the lion’s share in the management. How good and important it is for a husband to openly express his appreciation for his wife.

He adds that she surpasses all other women, including their daughters who, like her, “have done nobly” (Pro 31:29). The daughters did so in imitation of her; they learned from her.

Whether the words of Pro 31:30 are also said by the husband is not entirely clear. Perhaps Lemuel’s mother spoke these words to warn her son not to rely on appearance. Behind a graceful appearance may be a depraved character. And external beauty is impermanent, not permanent, but disappears in time.

He must be aware that a woman’s virtue is not in her outward beauty, but in her inward fellowship with the LORD (cf. 1Pet 3:3-4). Therefore, when choosing a wife, he should pay particular attention to whether she is a woman “who fears the LORD”. That woman “will be praised” by the LORD and also by her family. The same applies to the church. It is not about all kinds of outwardly attractive things, all kinds of spiritual gifts that are attractive to the eye. It is about reverence for and devotion to the Lord. That is important when we judge a local church.

“The product of her hands” (Pro 31:31) speaks of what she has accomplished through hard work. The results of her labor may give her satisfaction. She has earned that. She herself will say that it is all grace. And it is. At the same time, there has also been unbridled effort, appreciated by the Lord and by all who look at her with His eyes. The Lord will reward all that has been done for Him.

Her works are of special quality. They are to be praised “in the gates”. There, where her husband sits among the elders of the land (Pro 31:23), there should be appreciation for her. A wife who runs a family well is an example for any kind of government. City and state governments would do well to recognize the work of such women and follow their example. Then there would be hope for a society that is now a mess because of the many broken families partly because of women who pursue only their own interests.

Not the beauty of the woman, but her works bring her praise. She is praised because of the product of her hands. By the fruit, the tree is known. If the fruit is good, the tree is also good. She reaps praise from all she has sown in terms of investment in education, from all the care she has given to her husband and her children.

The driving force in her is the fear of the LORD. Emphasis is placed at the end of the book on this most important aspect of wisdom with which the book also began (Pro 1:7).

It is no different for the church. Only through reverence for God is it able to express itself in a way that will reap praise from God.