How can we avoid the mistakes of Job's friends in our relationships? Setting the Scene Job 6:22: “Have I said, ‘Give to me,’ or, ‘Offer me a gift from your wealth’?” Job reminds his friends he never asked for money or favors; he wanted understanding. Their failure shows us what to avoid when people around us suffer. What Went Wrong with Job’s Friends • They assumed Job must deserve his pain (Job 4:7–8). • They offered lectures instead of comfort (Job 16:2). • They grew harsher when Job defended himself (Job 19:2–3). • They never asked Job what he actually needed, so their words felt like wind (Job 6:26). Principles for Avoiding Their Mistakes • Listen before you speak. Proverbs 18:13—“He who answers a matter before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” • Seek to understand, not to diagnose. Romans 12:15—“Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” • Offer presence more than prescriptions. Job’s friends helped most when they sat silent seven days (Job 2:13). • Guard against hidden pride. 1 Corinthians 10:12—“So the one who thinks he is standing firm should be careful not to fall.” • Let Scripture shape your counsel, not personal opinion. 2 Timothy 3:16–17. Practical Steps 1. Ask, “How can I serve you right now?” then listen. 2. Validate pain: “This is hard. I’m sorry you’re facing it.” 3. Share truth gently and only when the other is ready (Ephesians 4:29). 4. Pray privately for wisdom before offering advice (James 1:5). 5. Follow through with tangible help if requested—meals, childcare, errands—without making it a transaction like Job’s friends insinuated. Echoes of Job 6:22 in Other Scriptures • Galatians 6:2—“Carry one another’s burdens.” The focus is bearing, not bargaining. • Isaiah 50:4—“The Lord GOD has given Me a tongue of disciples, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word.” • 2 Corinthians 1:4—God comforts us so we can comfort others “with the comfort we ourselves have received.” Heart Check Reminders • Am I assuming or asking? • Am I speaking life or adding weight? • Am I pointing to God’s character more than to human reasoning? Follow these patterns and we’ll offer the understanding Job longed for—and avoid the painful errors of his well-meaning but misguided friends. |
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