How should Christians respond when family members make ungodly requests? Genesis 34:18—A Snapshot of Family Pressure “ ‘Their words seemed good to Hamor and his son Shechem.’ ” The request sounded “good” to the people closest to Dinah, yet it was rooted in lust and deceit. The verse reminds us that family approval does not guarantee God’s approval. Why Ungodly Requests Often Feel Reasonable • Emotional attachment clouds judgment • Desire for peace at any cost • Fear of disappointing loved ones • Cultural norms that differ from biblical standards Four Scriptural Filters for Every Request 1. Compare it with clear commands – Acts 5:29 “We must obey God rather than men.” – Exodus 20:3-17 gives non-negotiable moral boundaries 2. Consider its fruit – Galatians 5:22-23 highlights the Spirit’s fruit; anything producing the opposite is suspect 3. Check the motive – Proverbs 16:2 “All a man’s ways are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the motives.” 4. Look at long-range impact – Proverbs 14:12 warns that a way that “seems right… ends in death.” When the Answer Must Be No—Practical Steps • Speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) • State God’s standard first, then your decision • Offer a righteous alternative whenever possible • Remain respectful; honor does not require compliance (Ephesians 6:1 “in the Lord”) • Stand firm; wavering invites more pressure Examples of Faithful Resistance • Joseph refused Potiphar’s wife: Genesis 39:9 • Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego declined idolatry: Daniel 3:16-18 • Peter and John rejected a religious gag order: Acts 4:18-20 Counting the Cost—and the Reward • Possible fallout: misunderstanding, ridicule, even estrangement • Promised gain: God’s commendation (Matthew 25:21), inner peace (Isaiah 26:3), and eternal reward (2 Corinthians 4:17) Anchoring Identity Above Family Ties • Matthew 10:37 places Christ above relatives • Mark 3:35 redefines family as those who do God’s will Our worth and direction come from the Lord, enabling gracious firmness when relatives push us toward compromise. Key Takeaways to Carry Forward • A request that “seems good” can still be sin • Evaluate every invitation through Scripture • Loving refusal preserves both truth and relationship • God honors those who honor Him first (1 Samuel 2:30) |
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