What role does communication play in resolving conflicts, as seen in 2 Samuel 20:17? Setting the Scene - Sheba son of Bichri has stirred a rebellion against King David (2 Samuel 20:1–2). - Joab, Israel’s seasoned commander, pursues Sheba to the fortified city of Abel Beth-maacah (vv. 6–15). - As Joab’s forces batter the wall, a “wise woman” calls out from the city and initiates a life-or-death conversation (vv. 16–22). The Exchange in 2 Samuel 20:17 “When he had come near to her, the woman asked, ‘Are you Joab?’ ‘I am,’ he answered. ‘Listen to the words of your servant,’ she said. ‘I am listening,’ he replied.” Key Observations about Communication - Identification: She begins with a straightforward question—“Are you Joab?”—ensuring she addresses the right person. - Respectful address: She calls herself “your servant,” lowering any potential hostility. - Invitation to listen: “Listen to the words of your servant.” She seeks permission to speak, securing Joab’s attention. - Confirmation of listening: Joab responds, “I am listening,” signaling openness rather than aggression. - Calm tone under pressure: Both parties maintain composure while walls are literally being battered. Biblical Principles Illustrated - Proverbs 15:1: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” The woman’s gentle approach diffuses Joab’s wrath. - James 1:19: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” Joab models “quick to listen” once the woman speaks. - Matthew 18:15: “If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately.” Personal, direct dialogue precedes broader action. - Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” The woman’s timely words rescue the city. Results of Effective Communication in the Narrative 1. She articulates the city’s innocence and wisdom heritage (v. 18). 2. Joab clarifies his objective—only the rebel Sheba, not the whole city (v. 20). 3. A swift agreement: “His head will be thrown to you over the wall” (v. 21). 4. Conflict ends without a siege; Joab withdraws (v. 22). – Countless lives and property are spared. Practical Takeaways for Today - Approach conflict respectfully; titles like “your servant” or “sir/ma’am” still lower tension. - Begin by identifying the real issue and the right party—don’t fire broadly. - Seek consent to speak (“May I share…?”); people listen better when invited. - Commit to listen fully before responding; repeat back what you heard if needed. - Aim for clarity of objectives; many disputes persist because goals remain vague. - Remember that gentle, truthful words can avert unnecessary damage—in families, churches, workplaces, and nations alike. Communication, exercised biblically and graciously, often stands between ruin and restoration. |
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