What does Proverbs 20:3 teach about the wisdom of avoiding quarrels? The Text “It is honorable for a man to resolve a dispute, but any fool will quarrel.” (Proverbs 20:3) Key Words and Phrases • honorable – carries the idea of glory, dignity, and moral weight • resolve a dispute – literally “cease” or “avoid” strife; step back before sparks fly • fool – one who despises wisdom and discipline (cf. Proverbs 1:7) • will quarrel – rushes headlong into contention; can’t resist a fight What the Verse Teaches • God openly calls peacemaking “honorable.” It enriches reputation and pleases Him. • Avoiding a quarrel is not cowardice; it is moral strength. • The fool’s knee-jerk reaction is to fight, proving his lack of self-control and insight. • By contrasting “man” with “fool,” the Spirit exposes quarreling as immaturity, not masculinity or courage. Why Growing Out of Quarrels Displays Wisdom • Quarrels blind us to truth (Proverbs 18:1–2). Wisdom opens ears before it opens mouths. • Strife escalates quickly, but “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). • Peace reflects God’s own character (1 Corinthians 14:33). When we choose peace, we mirror Him. • Avoiding fights protects relationships, testimony, and time—gifts God entrusts to steward wisely. Practical Application • Pause and pray before responding. If words form in heat, they likely ignite more heat (James 1:19–20). • Identify triggers: pride, desire to win, fear of being slighted. Lay each at the cross (Galatians 5:24). • Speak with restraint: “Even a fool is considered wise if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28). • When a conflict arises, aim first to understand, then to be understood (Proverbs 18:13). • Where apology is needed, give it quickly—quenching fire before it spreads (Proverbs 17:14). Supporting Scriptures • Proverbs 17:14 – “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” • Proverbs 26:17 – Meddling in others’ fights only harms the meddler. • Romans 12:18 – “If it is possible…live at peace with everyone.” • 2 Timothy 2:23–24 – The Lord’s servant “must not quarrel” but be gentle, able to teach, patient. • James 3:17–18 – Heavenly wisdom is “peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy.” Final Thoughts Choosing not to quarrel is choosing honor. Guided by the Spirit, believers model Christ, who “when He was reviled, did not revile in return” (1 Peter 2:23). Every avoided quarrel whispers the gospel’s peace into a noisy world. |
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