How does David's response reflect his relationship with Absalom? Setting the Stage Absalom’s sheep-shearing feast comes two years after his sister Tamar’s violation by Amnon. Absalom is secretly plotting revenge, but the only thing David knows is that his third son is extending an invitation to celebrate. David’s Immediate Response in 2 Samuel 13:25 “No, my son,” the king replied. “We should not all go, or we would be a burden to you.” And although Absalom urged him, he would not go, but gave him his blessing. What David’s Reluctance Reveals • Distance: Calling Absalom “my son” sounds warm, yet David prefers to stay home. His kingship and fatherhood operate at arm’s length. • Desire to Avoid Burdening: He cites logistics, not relationship, hinting at disengagement more than concern. • Quick Blessing: A royal benediction takes the place of personal presence; David chooses formal approval over hands-on involvement. • Missed Discernment: Absalom’s repeated urging should raise suspicion, especially after two years of chilly silence (13:22). David senses nothing. The Pattern of David’s Fatherly Passivity • Anger without action – “When King David heard all this, he was furious.” (13:21) Yet he disciplines neither Amnon nor Absalom. • Inconsistent affection – After three years of exile, David kisses Absalom but offers no meaningful reconciliation (14:33). • Failure to provide justice – While David hesitates, Absalom “stole the hearts of the men of Israel.” (15:5-6) • Deep love expressed only in grief – “O my son Absalom… If only I had died instead of you.” (18:33) His strongest emotion surfaces too late. David’s Heart vs. His Hands • Heart: Genuine paternal love is evident in endearing terms (“my son”) and later lament. • Hands: Reluctance to confront, teach, or correct. Like 1 Kings 1:6 records of another son, “His father had never rebuked him…” the pattern of non-intervention cuts across David’s household. • Result: Absalom grows resentful, unchecked, and eventually rebels. Lessons Drawn from the Relationship • Affection without accountability breeds estrangement; David’s blessing lacks shepherding. • Parents who shrink from hard conversations may forfeit influence when it matters most. • God’s Word highlights both the beauty of covenant love (Psalm 103:13) and the necessity of loving discipline (Proverbs 13:24). David’s story underscores the balance. |
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