What does "leave his father and mother" imply for marital priorities today? Foundational Verse “ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ ” (Ephesians 5:31) The Biblical Pattern of Leaving and Cleaving • First stated in Genesis 2:24 and repeated by Jesus in Matthew 19:5-6 and Mark 10:7-9, then echoed by Paul in Ephesians 5:31. • The threefold pattern is consistent: – Leave father and mother. – Be joined (literally “glued”) to one’s spouse. – Become one flesh. • Scripture presents this as God’s timeless blueprint, not a cultural custom open to revision. What “Leave” Does Not Mean • It does not cancel the command to “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12). • It does not require geographic distance if circumstances keep families close. • It does not justify neglect of parents in genuine need (cf. 1 Timothy 5:4, 8). What “Leave” Does Mean—Key Marital Priorities 1. Primary Human Loyalty Shifts • Husband and wife now rank above every other earthly relationship (Mark 10:9). • Advice, approval, or pressure from extended family must never override the unity of the couple. 2. Emotional Realignment • Affection, confidences, and deepest companionship move from parents to spouse (Song of Songs 5:16). • Spouses share hearts first with each other, not with mom, dad, or friends. 3. Spiritual Partnership • Husband and wife pursue God together (1 Peter 3:7). • Family devotions, church involvement, and ministry decisions are made as a united team. 4. Decision-Making Independence • Practical choices—budget, career moves, child-rearing—are settled within the marriage before seeking outside input (Proverbs 24:3-4). • Parents may counsel; they no longer control. 5. Financial Responsibility • A separate household budget underscores the new family unit (Genesis 2:24 “one flesh” entails shared life). • Couples honor parents while refusing dependency that undermines their own oneness. 6. Physical and Sexual Exclusivity • “One flesh” includes covenant intimacy reserved solely for husband and wife (1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Hebrews 13:4). Guarding the Marriage Bond • Establish clear, loving boundaries with relatives early. • Speak with one voice when extended family requests time, money, or influence. • Resolve conflicts privately whenever possible, protecting each other’s dignity (Proverbs 17:9). Cultivating Oneness After the Wedding • Regular date nights and shared hobbies strengthen the “cleaving.” • Joint prayer and Scripture reading keep hearts aligned with God and each other. • Swift forgiveness imitates Christ’s love (Ephesians 4:32). Summary Truths to Take to Heart • “Leave” calls for a decisive, gracious transfer of first allegiance from parents to spouse. • “Cleave” requires continual, wholehearted attachment that no outside relationship may rival. • Honoring parents remains vital, yet never at the expense of marital unity. • When this divine order is followed, homes flourish and God’s design for marriage shines vividly to the watching world. |
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