How to reconcile Song 3 with Matt 5:28?
How do we reconcile the romantic imagery of Song of Solomon 3 with the more sober views on marriage and lust in other biblical texts (e.g., Matthew 5:28)?

1. Introduction to the Passage

Song of Solomon 3 portrays a poetic and intimate search for the beloved, highlighting the passionate yearning of one committed partner for another:

“On my bed at night I sought the one I love; I sought him, but did not find him” (Song of Solomon 3:1).

Passages such as Matthew 5:28, on the other hand, soberly address lust:

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

At first glance, one might wonder how the upright yearning of Song of Solomon aligns with the strict command against lust. However, a careful exploration reveals a rich tapestry that teaches about proper passion, the beauty of marital devotion, and the warnings against the misuse of desire.


2. Understanding the Nature of Song of Solomon

Song of Solomon (also called Song of Songs) is part of the Hebrew wisdom literature. It uses romantic and, at times, highly descriptive imagery to celebrate marital love. Archaeological and textual evidence points to the book’s high regard in ancient Jewish tradition. For instance, fragments of the Song of Solomon found among the Dead Sea Scrolls underscore its longstanding acceptance as canonical.

The ancient Jewish community recognized that this poetic text exalts a relationship expressed in covenant faithfulness. When read within the broader biblical witness, it exalts a love that is neither lewd nor outside the bounds of marriage. This is illustrated by Song of Solomon 3:4:

“I had scarcely passed them when I found the one I love. I held him and would not let him go…”

This passionate language conveys both delight in and commitment to the beloved.


3. Distinction Between Godly Desire and Lust

The key to reconciling these texts lies in distinguishing between godly desire and sinful lust:

1. Godly Desire Reflects Commitment and Covenant: In the Song of Solomon, the lovers’ affections occur within a covenant relationship. Modern readers sometimes equate all sexual desire with lust, yet the biblical perspective affirms the proper place for sexual passion within marriage (Proverbs 5:18–19). The longing described in Song of Solomon 3 is neither promiscuous nor exploitative; it is an expression of joy and self-giving intimacy.

2. Sinful Lust Sought for Self-Gratification: Matthew 5:28 condemns lust that objectifies a person outside the proper context of marriage. Such lust is driven by self-centered craving, void of covenant commitment. The warning is that reducing another person to an object of passion without the safeguard of loyal, selfless love violates God’s purpose for intimacy.

Within Scripture, passion can be righteous when rightly placed. The Song of Solomon clarifies that this longing is part of a bond that honors both individuals and ultimately honors God.


4. Contextual Clues from Song of Solomon 3

Song of Solomon 3 has distinct literary elements that frame its romantic content in a positive light:

- Seeking and Finding: Throughout Hebrew poetry, seeking the beloved symbolizes devotion. When the bride finds her beloved in verse 4, the joy she expresses underlines a reuniting that is blessed rather than clandestine.

- Security and Commitment: The mention of the watchmen (v. 3) and her resolute pursuit of her beloved demonstrates a public context. This is not hidden adultery; it is an honorable quest for the one who rightfully belongs in her life.

Those reading from a modern perspective do well to remember that the Song celebrates union rather than moral license. The repeated cautions (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, and 8:4) to “not awaken love before its time” show that the text itself sets boundaries around desire.


5. Harmony with Jesus’ Words in Matthew 5:28

Christ’s words in Matthew 5:28 speak to the inward reality: sin begins in the heart, not merely in actions. If Song of Solomon were celebrating unchecked lust, it would conflict with Jesus’ direct mandate to guard against even internal sin. However:

1. Marriage as the Safeguard: Ephesians 5:31–33 underscores that marriage reflects the covenant bond between Christ and the church. Song of Solomon serves as a poetic reflection of a pure love that is in keeping with this principle.

2. Purity of Heart: Jesus’ teaching confronts the misuse of sexuality for selfish ends. Song of Solomon, by contrast, reveals a mutual, respectful giving of oneself, which aligns with the broader scriptural teaching that marital intimacy is honorable (Hebrews 13:4).

Thus, there is coherence once readers recognize that the Song of Solomon’s romantic imagery depicts love that belongs to a legitimate marital context, not the lustful gaze Jesus forbids.


6. Overarching Theological Significance

Throughout the Scriptures, marital love symbolizes divine faithfulness. Old Testament prophets frequently use the marriage metaphor to depict the relationship between God and His people (e.g., Hosea 2). The New Testament applies this imagery to Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:23–25).

Song of Solomon’s poetic verses can illustrate that faithful love mirrors divine love in its depth and exclusivity. Far from endorsing improper lust, the text portrays an intense yearning that is covenantal, selfless, and ultimately pure in its expression.


7. Relevance in a Modern Context

For contemporary readers, reconciling these passages encourages a positive, biblical view of intimacy:

1. Guardrails for the Heart: Reflecting on Matthew 5:28 reminds believers to guard against dehumanizing lust in all forms—whether physical or virtual. Scientific studies on relationships also reveal that intimate bonds flourish when founded on mutual respect and genuine commitment, aligning with Scriptural insights.

2. Celebration of Covenant Love: The Song’s rich imagery affirms that desire is God-given and meant to be cherished, provided it is rightly directed within marriage. Modern marriages benefit from understanding how the Song’s blend of romance, respect, and commitment fosters lifelong unity.

3. A Call to Holiness: Both passages ultimately call for holiness. Archaeological and manuscript findings consistently reveal the reliability of the biblical text, urging readers to trust these teachings as divine instructions on the sanctity of marriage and the posture of the heart.


8. Conclusion

Song of Solomon 3’s passionate expressions and Matthew 5:28’s warning against lust stand in harmony once one grasps the difference between covenant-bound love and self-seeking desire. The romantic imagery of Song of Solomon showcases the delight and depth of a dedicated union, celebrated within God’s appointed framework.

Meanwhile, Jesus’ challenge to guard the heart distinguishes pure longing from lustful appetite. These passages, taken together, guide readers toward a fuller understanding of love that reflects divine faithfulness, honors one’s spouse, and maintains the purity that stems from a transformed heart.

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