On Pleasing Men
Romans 15:2-3
Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification.…


Some men seek to build up their fellow-men remotely, e.g., by education, political economy, the application of natural laws. But, except as the administrators of such forces, they have no personal relation to the work. They have no sympathy for individuals. Their pleasure is left out of the question. Then there are others who seek to do good, but without any idea of the relation of this good to the character to be formed in men. There are persons that relieve suffering without asking how the relief can build up the sufferer into permanent goodness. There are others who seek to give the most transient pleasure without any concern either for good or for edification. They please men without any consideration of whether the means which they employ are right or wrong.

2. Now, the apostle joins all three together. You are to please men; and you are to please them so that you shall do them good. But all this in such a way as to effect a permanent building of character. One man may go through a farm only to glean flowers and fruit, to find pleasure there, and to give pleasure transiently. Another may find pleasure, to be sure, and he may also here and them strive to do a little good. He may destroy some vermin, pluck up some weeds, and plant and rear a few flowers. A third may unite all these things with a comprehensive culture that shall deepen the soil, augment its crops, and develop its resources of beauty, pleasure, and profit at the same time. This is the right way, and we are to cultivate each other in the same way.

I. MEN ARE BENEFITED SIMPLY BY BEING PLEASED. Of course men would not be profited by having only pleasure in this world. That is provided for, however. Men need trouble, and they will have it. But men need pleasing as well. And the art of pleasing is an important element in moral culture. For when men are in a state of pleasedness they are more inclined to good influences than when they are not pleased. Dr. Kane said that there was no nautical skill that was so important, while wintering in the North, as one man among the crew that could play the fiddle. Why? Because it is indispensable, under such circumstances, that the men should be kept in a cheerful state of mind. And this same element of cheerfulness is necessary in all the various situations in life. It may be better to strike at deeper results; but it is not best to despise those which be near the surface. It may be that a miner, by sinking a shaft, will find more gold in the veins; but it is not best for him to despise the specks of gold that are thrown up with the soil in the process.

II. THE HABIT OF PLEASING MEN IS QUITE AS INDISPENSABLE FOR OUR OWN SAKE AS FOR THEIRS. It keeps the mind and heart on the side of benevolence. It gradually frames your character into the Divine. And a man may be earnest and conscientious; and yet, if he carries himself in such a way that the pleasing of others is no part of his daily conduct, he cannot be thought to be a perfect man.

III. THE HUMAN MIND HAS BEEN ENDOWED WITH FACULTIES WHOSE VERY END SEEMS TO BE THE MINISTRATION OF PLEASURE. People seem to think that God must be a great utilitarian, and that He always makes things for uses. But wherever you see that God has walked in the world, you see that He has had an eye to beauty. There is something on the globe besides what men can eat, drink, and wear. God made the earth beautiful that the higher feelings might be fed. We are organised for something more than the mere practical duties of life.

1. The human mind is made to act with cheerfulness. You know the difference between a rusty and a polished piece of iron. The rusty piece reflects nothing. Polish it, and how every one delights to look at it! Now, the difference between polished and rusty iron is the difference between cheerfulness and no cheerfulness. A cheerful doctor gives his medicine the moment he steps inside the room. Those sepulchral doctors — I wonder that anybody gets well under their care. A clergyman whose face glows with health, hope, and cheer has looked consolation into his friend before he has spoken a word. But a minister, whose face says, "Hark! from the tomb a doleful sound," I marvel how he should be twice sent for, unless it might be on the ground of the benefits of affliction! And in all relations of life the same is true.

2. The tendency to please is still more powerful where cheerfulness is joined to good-nature. I sometimes preach better under the influence of the flowers that stand on the desk before me. They do not know that they are helping me, whether I do or not. There are persons that are pleasant when they come into your presence, that are pleasant while they stay, and their memory is sweet when they are gone. There are other persons whom you know to be good, and who you feel assured want to do you good, but whose presence is painful to you.

3. When God put wit and humour into the human soul, He put them there to be to the soul what the hearth is to the family, whose burning wood snaps and sends up sparks, and throws light into all parts of the room, and chases darkness, and imparts pleasure to all within the reach of its influence. But such is the heathenism of public opinion, that where a man uses his conscience to urge truth, and his reason to enforce it, people think that is all right; but that where a man uses mirthfulness to illustrate it and make it acceptable, people think it is not right.

4. The same is true of imagination. You cannot conceive that the imagination should be given a man except for pleasure. The imagination is what vines and mosses are that cover hard places, and beautify things that are not lovely in their own nature.

IV. WE NOW SEE THE MISTAKE OF MAKING MORAL QUALITIES UNPLEASING, as though it was a necessity that they should be so. Men seeing that cheerfulness, fancy, etc., are concomitants of unlawful pleasure, suppose them to be wicked, and steer away from them because they see bad men employ them. But because Cleopatra wore roses, must a virtuous woman not wear one? Because orgies are carried on with music, is music defiled? Things are not defiled because they are used for bad purposes. There is an impression that moral attributes have a certain hard and rugged nature of their own, and that they are genuine in proportion as they are unlovely. Many persons want a man to speak the truth very much as a bull-dog speaks. But throughout the New Testament moral qualities are enjoined to be exercised graciously and attractively. "Let your light so shine," etc. Hence bluntness, coarseness, are not to be preferred. A disagreeable piety is impious by so much as it is disagreeable. Virtue is lovely, and you are not to slander it by acting as though to be pious was necessarily to be void of everything that is pleasure-giving.

V. THIS VIEW WILL PRESENT A MUCH HIGHER IDEA OF GOOD MANNERS THAN IS OFTEN PRESENTED. We are usually taught good manners, because they are important to our making our way in the world; but good manners stand on a Christian ground. A man is bound so to conduct himself in all the thousand usages of society, as that his presence shall be a pleasant and not a disagreeable thing, or a burden to his fellow-men. There are persons in society who diffuse an element of comfort and joy wherever they go. We say of some persons, "They are well-bred."

VI. THIS VIEW WILL GIVE A MORAL SANCTION TO ALL THOSE MINOR USAGES OF SOCIETY WHICH TEND TO MAKE MEN MORE PLEASANT. Many persons say, "What is the use of salutations? Why should I raise my hat to a lady, or say 'Good morning' when we meet, or 'Goodbye' when we part?" Well, for my part, I think that even good folks, without such little ceremonies, are like grapes packed for market without leaves between them. They will crush, and come in mashed. Even good folks need to have little courtesies Between them to keep them from attrition. And to take society and divest it of all these little civilities, would be to deteriorate it and carry it toward the savage state. And if you think that these things are of no use, it is because you never put your heart into them. When you want to manage men, do as beekeepers do. Here are two. One goes to the hive, thrusts his hand rudely into the midst of them, and very soon he has his bees all over him, and he moves himself very rapidly! Another man gets a bowl of sugar and water and washes his hands all over, and goes with the utmost quietness and serenity, and opens the hive and puts his hand in gently, and the bees find everything sweet, and they will not sting him or fly away. And people say, "Wonderful! that man has a real magnetic power with bees." So he has, when he has sugar and water on his hands. Now, when you want to manage men, wash your hands with sugar and water! Conclusion: If you carry these thoughts home, I think you will find there a great sphere for the reformation of minor morals. In the family the law of pleasing ought to extend from the highest to the lowest. You are bound to please your children, and your children each other; and you are bound to please your servants, if you expect them to please you. Some men are pleasant in the household, and nowhere else. But the opposite is apt to be the case. We expend all our politeness in places where it will be profitable — where it will bring silver and gold. My friends, our kindness should begin at home. It should not stay there; but there it should begin, and there it should be nourished.

(H. W. Beecher.)



Parallel Verses
KJV: Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

WEB: Let each one of us please his neighbor for that which is good, to be building him up.




On Pleasing All Men
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