Friendship; the Silence that Saves and the Speech that Separates it
Proverbs 17:9
He that covers a transgression seeks love; but he that repeats a matter separates very friends.


We may learn -

I. THE GOODLINESS OF FRIENDSHIP. "Very friends," or "chief friends," points to intimate friendship. This is one of the very fairest and worthiest things under the sun. The man to whom God gives a lifelong faithful friendship is rich in a treasure which wealth cannot buy and the excellency of which it does not equal. It should be:

1. Founded on common attachment to the same great principles, and on mutual esteem.

2. Independent of the changes that occur in circumstances and conditions.

3. Strengthened by adversity.

4. Elevated by piety.

5. Lasting as life. Then it is something which, for intrinsic beauty and substantial worth, cannot be surpassed.

II. THE SILENCE THAT MAY SAVE IT. There is a speech that saves it. Often the interposition of a few words of explanation, removing an offence which would have grown into seriousness, will save a rupture. Sometimes a kindly word of counsel or remonstrance to the imprudent or to the mistaken may have the same happy effect. But, at other times, silence will save it. We are often tempted, even strongly tempted, to say that which would come between two human hearts. To say what we know would only be to speak the truth; it would gratify the curiosity of those present; it would be a pleasant exercise of power or the use of an advantage we happen to possess. The words rise to our very lips. But no; it is not always our duty to say all that we know; it is often our duty to be silent. There are times when to "cover transgression" is an act of wisdom, of kindness, of generosity, of Christ-likeness (see John 8:1-11). Let the fact remain untold; let the hearts that have been united remain bound together; seek and secure the permanence of "love."

III. THE SPEECH THAT WILL SEPARATE IT. A whisperer, one that repeats a matter, does separate friends.

1. There is always some occasion for silence in every man's life. No man is so correct in thought and speech that he could afford to have every utterance repeated to any one and every one. We all want the kindly curtain of silence to be drawn over some sentences that pass our lips.

2. There are always some thoughtless speakers - men and women who will carry injurious reports from house to house, from heart to heart; there are some who are cruelly careless what things they promulgate; there are some who consciously and guiltily enlarge and misrepresent, who form the dangerous and deadly habit of exaggeration, of false colouring, and who end in systematic falsehood. Those who idly and foolishly report what is true are, indeed, less guilty than they who enlarge and pervert. But they are far from guiltless. We are bound to speak with sufficient caution to save ourselves from the charge of circulating evil and spreading sorrow. We are responsible to God not only for the carefully prepared speech, but also for the casual interjection; that is the meaning of our Lord in his familiar words (Matthew 12:36). It behoves us to remember that our brother's reputation, usefulness, happiness, is in our charge, and one slight whisper may destroy it all. One breath of unkindness may start a long train of sad consequences which we have no power at all to stop. A very few unconsidered and unhappily uttered words may sever hearts that have been beating long in loving unison, may disunite lives that have been linked long in the bonds of happy love. - C.



Parallel Verses
KJV: He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

WEB: He who covers an offense promotes love; but he who repeats a matter separates best friends.




Fatherhood and Sonship
Top of Page
Top of Page