Husbands and Wives
Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.


The duty of the latter is put first, because obedience is more difficult and distasteful than love, and because the love of the husband largely depends on the subjection of the wife.

I. AS TO WIVES.

1. The proposition that wives ought to be subject to their husbands.

(1) In general this subjection is a Divine disposition whereby the more imperfect are subordinate to the more perfect, in order to their government and preservation. Without this, neither natural affairs, nor political societies, nor even the world could subsist. From whence follow —

(a) The author of creatures would not have them confounded through disorder (1 Corinthians 14:13).

(b) It is not the mark of a base but of a generous mind to be subject to his superiors. "Every man in proportion to his depravity bears a ruler with rude impatience.

(c) Those who shake off the yoke of due subjection are blind to their own interests. "Obedience is the mother of prosperity."(2) In particular this subjection consists in —

(a) The internal act of the heart and the acknowledgment of the mind (Ephesians 5:33; 1 Peter 3:6).

(b) Conformity of manners and affections. As a mirror adorned with gems and skilfully polished is nothing unless it express a true likeness of the person looking into it; so a wife, however endowed and beautiful, is nothing un less she render herself conformable to the manners of her husband (1 Corinthians 7:37).

(c) Performance of wifely duties — conjugal love (Genesis 2:18; Titus 2:4; Proverbs 31:12) — care of the children and the house (Titus 2:4-5). The Egyptian women had no shoes, that they might learn to keep at home.

(3) The reasons for this subjection.

(a)  The Divine appointment (Genesis 3:16).

(b)  The natural imperfection of the woman (1 Peter 3:7).

(c)  The order of creation. Woman was created after, out of, and for man (1 Corinthians 11:8-9).

(d)  The transgression of the woman (1 Timothy 2:14).

(2) The disadvantage of refusing this subjection. The violation of natural order every where is productive of disastrous disturbances.

(4) The hindrances to this subjection.

(a) Pride, which makes the wife disesteem her husband as unworthy to command her. To obviate this evil let her remember that her husband's dignity and her own inferiority are not to be estimated from virtues, figure, nobility, or riches; but from Divine ordination; that pride is of the devil, who, as he incited Eve, instills the same poison into her daughters.

(b) Defect of love. She studies not to please her husband who is displeased with him. This evil will be avoided if parents would not compel their daughters to odious nuptials (Genesis 24:57-58); if women would beware of marrying for honour and riches; and if after marriage they would avoid all occasions of offence.

(c) Foolish vanities, such as an immoderate desire of appearing in public, extravagance in dress, etc.

2. The limitation of the proposition — "As it is fit in the Lord;" as far as God permits, and as far as it is befitting women who are in the Lord. The occasion of this arose from the circumstance that many believing women were united to unbelieving husbands. If their husbands should strive to compel them to idolatrous worship they must resist (Acts 5:29). The foundation for this is that all authority is derived from God and subordinate to Him. From whence it follows —

(1) That thus wives render a sub mission grateful to God Himself.

(2) That the wife is bound to be a companion of her husband in everything but sin.

(3) That it is impious to choose a husband who is likely to persuade his wife to do such things as are not fit in the Lord.

II. AS TO HUSBANDS.

1. The precept enjoining love.

(1) The affection of love itself is required. This gives the heart to the thing loved, which is the most precious gift, and that in which all else is given.

(2) This affection will express itself(a) In living at home, delighted with the wife's presence and company, and not seeking others in preference (Proverbs 5:18-19). This effect we see in Christ's love toward His Church (Matthew 28:20).

(b) In direction and instruction in all those things which relate to this life and the next (1 Corinthians 14:35), because both are partners in earthly things and heirs together of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).

(c) Provision of all necessary things, in imitation of Christ's care of His Church. He who neglects this, subjects himself to heavy censure (1 Timothy 5:8).

(3) In order to perform this duty let a man beware of marrying —

(a) By the eyes alone, i.e., choosing for mere external beauty. Love which rests on such an unstable foundation cannot be firm and constant.

(b) By the fingers, i.e., choosing for money. The man who does this seeks not a wife but a money porter, and after he has laid his claws on the money, he regards not of a straw the porter.

2. The injunction forbidding bitterness. Plutarch says, "They who sacrificed at the rites of Juno, took out the gall of the victim, signifying by the ceremony that it was not fit that bile and bitterness should enter into the married state." The bitterness here prohibited shows itself —

(1) In the affections. Without saying or doing anything injurious a husband embittered against his wife can make her life exceedingly bitter. That this is to be avoided we gather(a) from the precept itself, which admits of no exception. As a wife is bound to obey her husband in spite of his many imperfections, so the husband is bound to love the wife notwithstanding hers.

(b) From the example of Christ (Ephesians 5:29).

(2) In words. A tender mind is wounded no less by bitter words, than the body is by sharp weapons.

(3) In actions. God gave not Eve to Adam as a slave but as a companion and helpmeet. This tyranny is exercised(a) when the wife is removed from domestic rule and degraded to the rank of a maid, even perhaps subjected to one of them, (Proverbs 31:27; Titus 2:5).

(b) When things pertaining to her dignity or necessity are denied.

(c) When she is treated with cruelty.

(Bp. Davenant.)



Parallel Verses
KJV: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

WEB: Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.




Husband: Meaning of the Word
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