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Men commonly assign a number of the persons and things within their sphere to the classes, respectively, of friends and enemies. There are beings that have in them aa evil spirit toward us, and there are those that have a good one. Many things in our notions, tastes, habits, practices, if traced back to the cause, are what they are, because such and such men were regarded by us as friends or as enemies. How disastrous, therefore, that perversity of apprehension through which enemies have so often been accounted friends, and friends enemies! And especially conspicuous has this perversity been in regard to the point suggested in our text, namely, whether it should be esteemed the part of a friend faithfully to tell men the truth; and whether the suppression of truth, and the substitution of its opposite, should not be held to mark the character of an enemy, Where and when has it been that flatterers were not admitted and welcomed as friends? What a prodigious singularity in history were it, if there were recorded any nation, or tribe, or city, in which these were generally and practically discouraged and silenced, and honest truth was the way to favour! Whenever was it, that honest truth was the obvious expedient of self-interest? Self-interest with men is to be promoted by giving them the persuasion that we are their friends. Well then, has their faithfulness been the way in which men have gone about to make their fellow-mortals esteem them for friends? How often has the amicable state of feeling been broken up by telling the truth, even when done in a proper spirit and manner! The great apostle himself seems not without apprehension of such an effect, sincere as he was, and affectionate, and venerable, and even speaking to them with the authority of God. And still, and always, is not this honest expression of truth one of the most difficult and hazardous things a friend has to do? All which is but one more example to show that, in this world, whatever is the best in a thing, is the most difficult to be had, and to be kept in that thing. But now, in a general theoretical judgment, men would approve, by implication at least, what is so unwelcome when it comes to the practice. "What would you wish your friend to be?" Answer: "I would wish him to be such that, as the last result of my communications with him, a great deal of whatever may be defective and wrong in me shall have been disciplined away." But, by what manner of operation, if he is never to hint at such a thing? Is it to be by some moral magic? Or is he to presume no further than to admonish by example? What! not even if he perceives that that admonition does not take effect? How many pointed suggestions of his mind is he to withhold from putting into words, in waiting to see whether they will arise in your own thoughts? May he not justly despair of accomplishing much beneficial correction, so long as he must not say that he intends or wishes to do it? so long, in short, as he feels himself in hazard of becoming, in your regard, an "enemy" by telling you the truth? Thus men will profess, and perhaps unthinkingly believe, that they derive the most essential benefits derivable from a true friend; but if he shall offer to impart them, he becomes an "enemy!" But consider, what an invitation, the while, this temper of mind gives to real enemies — to the flatterer, to the designing hypocrite, to every imposition the mind can put on itself, and to the great deceiver of souls — to anything but salutary truth! The great cause of this perversity and repugnance is, that it cannot be but that plain truth (by whatever voice) must say many things that are unpleasing. All censure is so; as it hurts that most quick, and delicate, and constant of all feelings, self-love. Another thing greatly contributing to this feeling toward him is, a want of the real earnest desire to be in all things set right; a kind of hollow truce which is kept up with conscience, with great difficulty, easily disturbed, and the disturbance painful; therefore, "do not, do not come to provoke the enemy within!" And then, again, there is pride, reacting against a fellow-mortal and fellow-sinner. We note only one thing more, as tending to excite in a person hearing unpleasant truth a feeling as toward an "enemy," and that is, an unfavourable opinion or surmise, as to the motives of the teller of this truth. If it is truth, and useful truth, the motives of him that says it should make no material difference. Even from an enemy real instruction has an undiminished value. But, as we are constituted, this consideration does make a great difference. But the person reprehended should reflect how strongly the nature of the case tempts him to think unfavourably of the motives. Let him consider how slowly such surmises are entertained by him when he receives approbation or applause; But, to look now at the other side of the question, we shall do well to insist on a circumstance or two of propriety, in respect to the telling of unpleasant truth. For one thing, it is self-evident that those who have to do this should well exercise themselves to understand what they speak of. If this be a rule of propriety generally, in the utterance of thoughts and judgments, it is especially so in respect to those which are to be expressed as reprehensions, directly applied to persons and to friends; where some pain and displeasure may be expected to be caused, and opposition provoked. On such occasions how needful a knowledge of the subject, well-considered opinion, clear representation, pertinent sound argument. It hardly needs be said, that a real and evident friendly intention is of great avail. It may be added, that there should not be the same stress laid on everything that may not be exactly as the corrective instructor thinks it ought. Indeed, many minor things may wisely be altogether passed over. Again, in presenting admonitory or accusatory truth, it should be the instructor's aim that the authority may be conveyed in the truth itself, and not seem to be assumed by him as the speaker of it; that he may be the mere conveyer of the force of the subject. Then, too, the teller of unpleasant truths should take care to select favourable times and occasions; when an inquisitive or docile disposition is most apparent; when some circumstance or topic naturally leads, without formality or abruptness; when there appears to be in the way the least to put the person reproved in the attitude of pride and hostile self-defence.

(J. Foster.)

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KJV: But it is good to be zealously affected always in a good thing, and not only when I am present with you.

WEB: But it is always good to be zealous in a good cause, and not only when I am present with you.