Relative Duties -- Husbands and Wives
Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.


The root of all society is the family. (Genesis 2:18; Psalm 68:6). The real strength and virtue of a nation consist to a great extent in the purity of family ties; and in this, more than anything else socially, has the religion of Christ blessed the world. Of the domestic institution, conjugal life and love are the very element and fountain (Ephesians 5:25-33; Titus 2:4-5; 1 Peter 3:1-7).

I. THE DUTY OF THE WIFE.

1. The subjection is not that of a drudge or slave, to be ruled by force. It means that in the home, as everywhere else, "order is heaven's first law." If there is to be peace and happiness in the home there must not be two co-ordinate authorities. The husband is to be the house-band — the strength and bond of the family. The submission required of a wife involves —

(1) A sense of dependence. In many things this is unavoidable, she being the weaker vessel, and created in a condition of dependence (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). When she tried to lead her husband and undertook to govern, the issue was disastrous for both. This dependence is touchingly illustrated in the social sympathy for, and Divine promises to widows, because she is deprived of her earthly prop and stay.

(2) A feeling of deference. "Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord." Many husbands, it may be said, do not deserve this, and the wife may sometimes take advantage of a husband's weakness for his good. If a woman has married a man she cannot respect, she may have herself to blame; but his weakness does not exempt her from the duty of honouring him as her husband. If he abdicate hie position, she may be obliged to take the lead, yet the true wife will strive to do it in such a way as not to wound him.

(3) A spirit of devotedness. It is beautiful to see a loving wife clinging hopefully and prayerfully to a bad husband. Just as forbidding is it to hear a wife complaining all round the parish. A good wife will care for her husband's comfort and character as her own; and when he is harassed will do her best to make him forget his anxieties (Proverbs 31:10-12).

2. The reason for this injunction — "as it is fit in the Lord." It is God s will that it should be so, and also the dictate of common sense. Where there are two wills seeking for mastery there will be wrangling and bitterness. But the wife is not a slave to do the bidding of a taskmaster, losing in a mechanical obedience the sense of responsibility. No! she may not do wrong to please her husband. Her own relation to God will determine the standard of right and limit of duty. How much has a Christian wife in her power I By submission she may gain conquests for Christ, and commend the Lord whom she supremely loves.

II. THE DUTY OF THE HUSBAND. The sum and fountain of all other duties is love.

1. Positively — "love your wives."

1. Paul does not say as the complement of submission, "Rule your wives wisely, keep them in their position." The rule of love is sweet and easily borne. Either side is, perhaps, apt to forget its own special obligation: the wife is not so likely to forget her love as her subjection, nor the husband his authority as his love. But he will most surely and fully receive the acknowledgment due to him who truly loves; and she will be most tenderly loved who shows most heartily deference. Let the love which won the youthful bride be continued and augmented.

2. This love must be manifested. It is too often taken as a matter of course. Contact with the world often deadens the susceptibilities, and love is left to care for itself and struggle for a precarious existence. But the wife craves for love, and a tone of tenderness will make her soul brighten for days amid the manifold cares of home. It is one thing to be silly in the expression of a rapturous fondness and quite another to be manly in the exhibition of a sincere affection. If a man is not ashamed of being married he ought not to be ashamed of showing his love, in, e.g., preferring his wife's society, in seeking to please her, in taking an interest in those things which specially occupy her thought. And she has a right to expect it amidst the monotony of her household cares.

2. Negatively — "Be not bitter against them." It is possible to have a general sentiment of affection and yet to be bitter. This spirit is grossly wrong in a Christian man to the woman who has given up all for him. It may be exhibited in surly silence as well as in sharp words. There will be need of forbearance on both sides. Some homes, alas, are in a state of chronic conflict. He commands imperiously; she resists proudly. Some men are pleasant and genial abroad, but churlish at home. Marriage is left us as a wreck saved from Paradise; according to our spirit and conduct it will be either a reminder of "paradise lost," or a help towards "paradise regained."

(J. Spence, D. D.)



Parallel Verses
KJV: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

WEB: Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.




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