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I. In stating and defining this love, I will take notice —

1. Of the general nature of it.

2. The degree.

3. The effects.First: The general nature of love is the delectation and complacency of the heart in the party loved, from whence followeth a desire of their good, and a seeking and promoting of it to the uttermost of our power. So the husband must love the wife, that his heart may cleave to her, and take delight in her; as it is said: "The young man had a delight in Jacob's daughter" (Genesis 34:19).Secondly: The degree.

1. There is a common love which belongeth to believers of either sex, as brothers and sisters in Christ (John 13:34).

2. It is alone, which in some respects exceedeth that we owe to our parents and other near relations (Genesis 2:24).

3. It carrieth it higher yet. They ought to "love their wives as their own bodies; for he that loveth his wife, loveth himself" (ver. 28).

4. As Christ loved the Church. The husband for his pattern of conjugal love is referred to Christ, partly for the degree of his love, and partly for the kind of it.Thirdly: The effects of it.

1. Delight in her presence and company; not suffering himself to be separated from her for any long time, unless it be for necessary cause. Those that find more pleasure in converse abroad than at home certainly do not heartily love one another, though no filthy and prohibited act should ensue from this liberty which they take.

2. The second act or effect of love is, to direct and instruct in all things that belong to this life and a better, for therefore he is called "a head"; and the office of the head is to guide the body.

3. In providing all things necessary for them that conduce to health, food, and raiment, and that according to the decency and decorum of their estate; for herein they imitate the care and providence of Christ, who hath provided all things for His spouse; food for their souls, garments of salvation to cover their nakedness, healing grace to cure their distempers. So must the husband do for his wife.

4. In a care to preserve and defend her. As Abraham of Sarah (Genesis 20).

II. Let us now see by what reasons this is enforced.

1. The order of the creation. We pleaded that before for the woman's submission, that she was made out of man, after man, and for man. We plead the same argument now for the husband's duty of love to her; for the apostle urgeth this in the same chapter (1 Corinthians 11:11, 12).

2. It is a relation of love, instituted by God for that very end and purpose.

3. Reason will tell us how much the husband is bound to love her that hath in a manner forsaken all the world, father, and mother, and all her relations, to cleave to her husband, and to share with him in all conditions until death, although she were free before the contract. Surely common gratitude will suggest that a recompense of true affection is due to her for this; otherwise men are unthankful, unholy, and without natural affection, which is the worst character can be given to them.

4. The interest and comfort of the married estate will also persuade it. While love is kept up, all things go on sweetly; but as soon as love faileth, presently everything is out of order and out of joint; for when once they begin to disaffect the persons of each other, all matrimonial duties are stabbed at the heart.

Use 1. To reprove that which is contrary to this love, bitterness and harshness of carriage: "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter to them" (Colossians 3:19). The gall was taken out of the sacrifices offered to Juno, as Plutarch witnesseth. This is seen —

1. Partly in a froward disposition, when men are offended for light causes or small provocations, and, like fine glasses, broken as soon as touched.

2. In sharp words and contumelious language, which leaveth such a grudge and such averseness in the mind as is not easily forgiven. Certainly such bitter speeches must needs destroy all love and breed an unquiet life.

3. Churlish deeds also show this bitterness.

(1) When the husband taketh from her all command in the family, handling her rather like a slave than a consort and companion.

(2) Denying necessaries.

(3) The height of bitterness is when passion and anger proceed to blows.

Use 2. To persuade to this love.

1. Choose one that is amiable. Prevention is better than cure.

2. Marry not till you be sure you can love entirely.

3. Love not as bare husbands, but as Christians.

4. Avoid giving offence.

5. Exercise patience.Make conscience of your duty, and God will give you strength. Secondly: Now I come to Christ's love; in which we have —

(1)  The person that loveth, viz., Christ.

(2)  The persons loved — "The Church."

(3)  The fruit of His love — "He gave Himself for it," to a painful and ignominious death.There are solemn notions by which Christ's death is set forth — a ransom and a sacrifice.

(a)  A ransom: "And gave His life a ransom for many" (Matthew 20:28).

(b)  As a sacrifice, a mediatorial sacrifice: "When thou shalt make His soul an offering for sin" (Isaiah 53:10; Ephesians 5:2). Great love it was, if we consider —

1. The giver, Jesus Christ, God over all, blessed forever, to whom nothing can accrue from us: "It pleased the Lord to bruise Him; He hath put Him to grief. He shall see of the travail of His soul, and be satisfied" (Isaiah 53:11). When He foresaw what it would cost, and what He should give, He said, "It is enough."

2. The gift — He gave Himself: "We are not redeemed with silver and gold, but with the precious blood of the Son of God" (1 Peter 1:18).

3. "For us," whom He after calleth into a Church (Romans 5:6-8). Oh, let us be blessing God for this love, and show our thankfulness both in word and deed.

(1) In word (Revelation 5:9). The angels, who are the spectators, ever blessed God for it; and shall not we, who be the parties interested?

(2) In deed, by giving up ourselves to Him (Romans 12:1).

(T. Manton, D. D.)

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KJV: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

WEB: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;