1. Respond with Kindness

When someone’s words carry a hidden edge, respond gently. As it is written, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Instead of matching their tone, show patience and warmth. This approach can set a more positive direction for the conversation.

2. Seek Understanding

A calm mind helps us listen well, even when the other person’s remarks are loaded. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19). By staying attentive, you might uncover deeper issues behind the passive-aggressive words, offering a better path to resolution.

3. Offer Constructive Truth

If you sense the need to address the hidden barb, do so with sincerity. “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up” (Ephesians 4:29). Responding with truth wrapped in kindness can defuse tensions and gently guide the conversation into healthier territory.

4. Choose to Extend Grace

Giving the benefit of the doubt can soften the hardest hearts. And when they truly step on your toes, remember “just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive” (Colossians 3:13). Grace in return for unkindness goes a long way in breaking down hidden hostilities.

5. Maintain Your Peace

It’s tempting to snap back when you feel slighted, but Scripture says, “If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). When you keep your peace, you won’t be dragged into a cycle of negativity, and you set a calming example for everyone involved.

6. Address the Issue Privately

Stepping away from an audience helps remove pressure, allowing both parties to speak more freely. “If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately” (Matthew 18:15). A one-on-one discussion makes it easier to untangle misunderstandings without adding more tension.

7. Stay Humble and Self-Aware

Taking a moment to examine your own heart before responding can keep conversations constructive. “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). A humble attitude can dismantle passive-aggressiveness by refusing to escalate the conflict.

8. Speak with Gentleness

Mistakes can happen on both sides, and we often need gentle correction to grow. “Restore him with a spirit of gentleness” (Galatians 6:1). Offering feedback calmly sets a healthy tone and can encourage the other person to move from subtle jabs to open communication.

9. Look for Ways to Bless

Even if the other person seems deliberately hurtful, surprise them by seeking to bless rather than retaliate. “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). This unexpected kindness can shift the entire atmosphere, inviting healing rather than further strife.

10. Pray for Genuine Resolution

Bringing your concerns to God can open paths to solutions you never imagined. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition…present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). When you pray for genuine peace and understanding, you invite a restoring influence into every tense conversation.