How can we avoid speaking "with flattering lips" in our daily interactions? The Heart Beneath Flattering Lips Psalm 12:2 observes, “They lie to one another; they speak with flattering lips and a double heart.” Flattery springs from a divided heart—one part seeking personal advantage, the other masking true motives. God, who “desires truth in the inmost being” (Psalm 51:6), calls us to integrity rather than duplicity. Why Flattery Is Spiritually Dangerous • It is a form of deception. Proverbs 26:28: “A lying tongue hates those it crushes, and a flattering mouth causes ruin.” • It entraps both speaker and listener. Proverbs 29:5: “A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.” • It undermines genuine love. Proverbs 27:5-6: “Better an open rebuke than concealed love. The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” • It provokes God’s opposition, for “the LORD detests lying lips” (Proverbs 12:22). Signs We May Be Slipping into Flattery • Praising someone to gain a favor or avoid conflict. • Exaggerating accomplishments to impress. • Offering compliments we would not repeat in that person’s absence. • Speaking more kindly to influential people than to those who cannot benefit us. • Feeling uneasy or insincere after we speak. Practical Steps to Root Out Flattery 1. Examine motives before you speak. Ask silently, “Am I seeking my neighbor’s good or my own?” (cf. Philippians 2:3-4). 2. Speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:25: “Put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor.” 3. Keep your words constructive. Ephesians 4:29: “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up…” 4. Replace exaggeration with accurate encouragement. Proverbs 24:26: “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” 5. Cultivate gratitude toward God, not dependence on people’s approval. Colossians 3:23 reminds us to work “for the Lord, not for men.” 6. Practice silence when tempted to embellish. Proverbs 17:28 notes even the fool seems wise when holding his tongue. 7. Invite accountability. A trusted friend can gently point out subtle flattery when it appears (Proverbs 27:6). Cultivating Truth-Filled, Grace-Filled Speech • Aim for speech that is gracious yet seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6). • Offer specific, sincere praise centered on observable character, not flattery (“I appreciate how diligently you handled that project,” not “You’re the greatest person ever!”). • Bless rather than manipulate. James 3:9-10 warns against using the same tongue for blessing and cursing. • Let Scripture shape your words daily. “Truthful lips endure forever” (Proverbs 12:19). A Closing Encouragement God never flatters; He speaks perfect truth with perfect love. As His Spirit renews our hearts, our lips will follow—becoming instruments of honesty, encouragement, and Christ-honoring integrity in every conversation. |
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