How can we avoid being "perverse" and causing strife in our relationships? Verse Focus “A perverse man spreads dissension, and a gossip divides close friends.” — Proverbs 16:28 What Makes Someone “Perverse” in This Context? • “Perverse” (Hebrew: tahpûkâh) speaks of a twisting, corrupting, or turning aside from what is right. • In relationships, perversity shows up when words or actions intentionally distort truth, sow suspicion, or undermine trust. Why Strife Is Spiritually Dangerous • Strife fractures unity that God prizes (Psalm 133:1). • It grieves the Holy Spirit who binds believers together (Ephesians 4:30). • It opens a door to every “evil practice” (James 3:16). Guard Your Tongue • Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” • James 3:5-6 warns that a small tongue can set “the course of one’s life on fire.” Practical helps: – Pause before speaking; ask, “Will this heal or harm?” – Limit reactions when emotions run high (Proverbs 15:28). – Delete, don’t post, if an online comment stirs contention. Refuse Gossip in Every Form • Proverbs 11:13: “A gossip betrays confidence, but a trustworthy spirit keeps a secret.” • Walk away, change the subject, or gently challenge, “Have you talked to them directly?” Speak Truth Wrapped in Love • Ephesians 4:29: “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up…” • Colossians 4:6 shows that gracious speech is seasoned “with salt” so it preserves, not spoils. Choose Silence Over Harmful Words • Proverbs 17:27-28 reminds us that restraint is wisdom. • Sometimes the most godly response is a quiet one (Ecclesiastes 3:7b). Check Your Heart Daily • Luke 6:45: “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” • Invite God to search motives (Psalm 139:23-24). • Confess envy, insecurity, or resentment before they fuel divisive words. Pursue Quick Reconciliation • Matthew 5:23-24: leave your gift and first be reconciled. • Matthew 18:15 lays out a private, respectful approach to offenses. • Delay multiplies misunderstanding; prompt dialogue diffuses it. Surround Yourself with Peace-Lovers • Proverbs 13:20: “He who walks with the wise will become wise.” • Choose friends who prize unity and hold you accountable for your words. Walk in the Spirit, Not the Flesh • Galatians 5:22-23: love, peace, patience, kindness are Spirit-produced qualities that choke out strife. • Daily surrender keeps the old nature from steering conversations. Summary Snapshot Avoiding perversity and strife is less about perfect speech and more about a heart aligned with God’s truth, a tongue disciplined by His Word, and relationships guarded by intentional love. |
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