How can Elihu's example in Job 32:17 guide us in difficult conversations? Setting the Scene Job’s three friends have spoken; Job has defended himself. A younger man, Elihu, has waited patiently. Finally, he says, “I too will answer; I too will declare what I know” (Job 32:17). His example offers timely guidance for any believer facing hard conversations. What Elihu Actually Did • Listened first (Job 32:4–6) • Waited until the older speakers finished (Job 32:11) • Felt constrained by truth burning within (Job 32:18–20) • Spoke from reverence for God, not personal irritation (Job 32:21–22) Lessons for Our Difficult Conversations Listen before speaking • “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19). • Elihu’s silence was not passivity; it was preparation. Wait for the right moment • Proverbs 15:23—“How delightful is a timely word!” • Pressured responses often lack clarity; deliberate timing honors both God and others. Speak only what you truly know • Job 32:17—Elihu does not speculate; he shares what he “knows.” • Proverbs 18:13 warns against answering “before he hears.” • Limit words to confirmed truth; guesswork inflames conflict. Rely on the Spirit’s prompting • Job 32:8—“But there is a spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding.” • Truth undergirded by the Spirit carries weight beyond mere opinion. Maintain reverence, not flattery • Job 32:21—“I will show no partiality.” • Ephesians 4:15—Speak “the truth in love,” aiming for God’s approval, not human applause. Channel righteous urgency, not fleshly anger • Job 32:19–20 pictures Elihu’s words like wine ready to burst its skins—controlled release, not uncontrolled rage. • Ephesians 4:26—“Be angry yet do not sin.” Truth can press us to speak without leading us to sin. Aim for edification • Ephesians 4:29—“Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up.” • Elihu sought to clarify God’s justice and Job’s misconceptions, not to win an argument. Putting It into Practice 1. Pray and ponder before you enter the conversation. 2. Listen actively, reserving judgment until all sides are aired. 3. Confirm that what burdens you is biblical truth, not wounded pride. 4. Speak at the Spirit-led moment, succinctly and respectfully. 5. Refuse flattery or partiality; aim for God’s pleasure above all. 6. Check your tone—passion tethered to love, never to contempt. 7. Measure success by faithfulness to God’s Word (1 Corinthians 4:2), not immediate agreement. A Closing Snapshot Elihu models a rare balance: patient listening, Spirit-filled urgency, and uncompromising truth. When conversations grow difficult, Job 32:17 calls us to do likewise—wait, weigh, and then, by God’s enabling, speak what we truly know. |
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