What steps can we take to avoid false assumptions in our relationships? The Danger Illustrated 2 Samuel 10:3 describes a tragic misread of motives: “But the princes of the Ammonites said to Hanun their lord, ‘Do you think David is honoring your father by sending you comforters? Has not David sent his servants to you in order to explore the city, spy it out, and overthrow it?’ ”. A friendship gesture is twisted into suspicion, leading to needless war. That single verse warns how unchecked assumptions can destroy relationships. Root Causes of False Assumptions • Pride that believes “I know the whole story” (Proverbs 16:18). • Fear of being taken advantage of (Psalm 56:3–4). • Listening to gossip instead of gathering facts (Proverbs 26:20). • Projecting our own motives onto others (Jeremiah 17:9). Practical Steps to Guard Our Hearts 1. Pause before concluding. • “He who answers a matter before he hears it—this is folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13) 2. Seek clarification. • Ask sincere questions; give space for explanation (Matthew 18:15). 3. Choose charitable interpretation. • “Love believes all things, hopes all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7) 4. Listen more than we speak. • “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19) 5. Verify with witnesses or evidence. • “Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” (2 Corinthians 13:1) 6. Pray for discernment. • “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5) 7. Guard the tongue. • “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21) 8. Fill the mind with truth. • “Whatever is true… think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8) Scriptures to Remember When Tempted to Assume • Matthew 7:1–2 — Judging invites God’s measure back on us. • Ephesians 4:29 — Only words that build up should exit our mouths. • Proverbs 11:13 — A trustworthy person keeps confidence and refuses rumor. • Romans 12:18 — “If it is possible… live at peace with everyone.” Closing Encouragement Relationships thrive when we trade suspicion for grace. By slowing down, confirming facts, and choosing love’s perspective—grounded in the truthful, infallible Word of God—we sidestep the pitfall that ensnared Hanun and embrace the peace our Lord desires for His people. |
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