Proverbs 28:23: Honest feedback vs. flattery?
How does Proverbs 28:23 encourage honest feedback over flattery in relationships?

Setting the Stage

• Relationships thrive on truth.

Proverbs 28:23 cuts through the cultural pull toward smooth words by promising lasting favor to the one who lovingly confronts.


Key Verse

“He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than one who flatters with the tongue.”


Why Honest Rebuke Outshines Flattery

• Flattery masks reality; honest feedback reveals it (Proverbs 29:5).

• Truth spoken in love aligns us with God’s character (Ephesians 4:15).

• Faithful correction is proof of genuine friendship (Proverbs 27:5-6).

• Flattery can entangle both speaker and listener in sin (Romans 16:18).


The Long-Term Benefit: “Afterward…”

• “Afterward” points to a future payoff—initial discomfort, eventual respect.

• Contrast: Flattery feels good now but breeds distrust later (Proverbs 26:28).

• Consistent truth-telling builds a reputation of reliability; people know you mean what you say.


How to Practice Proverbs 28:23 in Daily Relationships

1. Pray for discernment: ask the Spirit to expose motives (Psalm 139:23-24).

2. Choose the right setting: private, calm, unrushed (Matthew 18:15).

3. Lead with affirmation: recognize evidences of grace before addressing the issue (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

4. Be specific, not vague: identify the behavior and its impact.

5. Offer a better way forward: “Let’s walk in this together” (Galatians 6:1-2).

6. Follow up: check back, encourage growth, keep the bridge strong (Colossians 3:16).


Guardrails for Giving Honest Feedback

• Check your heart—no anger, no superiority (James 1:19-20).

• Use gentle words—“A gentle tongue can break a bone” (Proverbs 25:15).

• Listen after speaking—invite response, show humility (James 1:19).

• Refuse gossip—speak to the person, not about the person (Matthew 18:15).


The Goal: Restoration and Growth

• Scripture presents rebuke as an act of love, not punishment (Revelation 3:19).

• When offered humbly, correction safeguards souls and strengthens bonds (Luke 17:3; Psalm 141:5).

• Ultimately, honest feedback honors Christ, fosters repentance, and deepens trust among His people.

What is the meaning of Proverbs 28:23?
Top of Page
Top of Page