How can husbands love their wives as instructed in Colossians 3:19? Verse and Directive “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (BSB, Colossians 3:19) What It Means to Love • The verb “love” (agapáō) calls for a steady, self-sacrificing commitment, not mere emotion. • It is a command, not a suggestion; obedience to Christ is on the line. • Loving excludes harshness—any form of bitterness, resentment, or rough treatment. Practical Expressions of Love • Speak life-giving words: praise, encouragement, and gratitude. • Listen attentively; give undivided attention when she shares her heart. • Serve in everyday tasks—dishes, laundry, childcare—without being asked. • Guard purity: keep eyes, mind, and heart faithful, honoring the marriage bed. • Provide spiritual leadership: read Scripture together, initiate church involvement, model prayer. • Invest in her growth: support her gifts, interests, and callings. Guarding against Harshness • Check tone and body language; gentleness is strength under control. • Resolve conflict quickly—“do not let the sun set on your anger” (cf. Ephesians 4:26). • Repent and ask forgiveness when wrong; humility melts bitterness. • Avoid sarcasm, ridicule, or dismissive remarks that wound the spirit. • Remember you are “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24); hurting her is hurting yourself. Looking to Christ’s Example “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (BSB, Ephesians 5:25) • Christ’s love is sacrificial—He laid down His life; husbands lay down selfishness. • Christ’s love is sanctifying—He seeks her best; husbands nurture wives toward holiness. • Christ’s love is steadfast—never abandoning; husbands remain faithful in every season. “Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration…” (BSB, 1 Peter 3:7) • Show honor; recognize her as a fellow heir of grace. • Handle her heart gently—as a treasure, not a possession. • Remember that neglect hinders prayer; spiritual vitality is tied to marital care. Daily Habits of the Loving Husband 1. Begin each day in the Word; let God’s love refill your reservoir. 2. Pray for her specifically—needs, dreams, anxieties. 3. Offer a meaningful touch: a hug, a held hand, a reassuring arm. 4. Send a midday message: “Thinking of you,” “How can I help tonight?” 5. End the day with blessing—speak Scripture or a simple “I love you; I’m thankful for you.” 6. Schedule regular date times; protect them like any vital appointment. 7. Cultivate accountability with godly men to stay sharp and faithful. Fruit and Blessing • A wife who feels secure, cherished, and free to flourish. • Children who witness a living picture of Christ and His church. • A home marked by peace, joy, and answered prayer. • Personal growth: as you give love, the Holy Spirit shapes Christlikeness in you. |
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