What lessons from Deuteronomy 22:13 apply to modern Christian marriages? Setting the scene in Deuteronomy 22:13 “Suppose a man marries a woman, has relations with her, and then comes to hate her” (Deuteronomy 22:13). The verse introduces a husband who changes his attitude after consummation. What follows in verses 14-19 shows God protecting the wife from false accusations and underscoring the seriousness of covenant. Principle: Covenant loyalty over changing emotions • Marriage is a lifelong covenant, not a trial arrangement (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6). • Feelings fluctuate, but covenant love is commanded: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25). • God calls spouses to remain faithful even when emotions cool—an antidote to the “then comes to hate her” temptation. Principle: Guard the tongue from destructive accusations • The husband later accuses his wife falsely (v. 14); Scripture condemns such speech: “The tongue is a fire” (James 3:6). • Words can either protect or poison a marriage: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Principle: Protecting the dignity of the spouse • God defends the woman’s honor (vv. 15-19), making slander costly. • Modern lesson: never expose a spouse’s weaknesses publicly (1 Peter 3:7). • Genuine love “covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Principle: Honoring the marriage bed • The charge involved pre-marital purity; God values sexual faithfulness before and after the wedding (Hebrews 13:4). • Couples today honor Christ by keeping intimacy exclusive and undefiled. Principle: Accountability within the faith community • Elders and judges investigated the claim (vv. 15-19); marriage never exists in a vacuum. • Church fellowship offers guidance, correction, and support (Galatians 6:1-2). Practical steps for today’s couples • Rehearse covenant promises regularly—celebrate anniversaries, renew vows privately. • Speak blessing, not blame: practice daily words of affirmation. • Resolve conflicts quickly; refuse to nurse resentment (Ephesians 4:26-27). • Guard conversations about your spouse—no gossip, no social-media rants. • Seek wise counsel early; invite mature believers to mentor your marriage. • Cultivate spiritual intimacy: read Scripture together, attend worship, serve side by side. |
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