How can we apply the idea of exclusivity in Song of Solomon to marriage today? Setting the Scene Song of Solomon 6:8: “There are sixty queens and eighty concubines, and maidens without number,” The very next line (6:9) contrasts all those women with one: “but my dove, my perfect one, is unique…” The writer surveys a crowd of possibilities, then fixes his heart on a single beloved. That contrast becomes a vivid picture of marital exclusivity. What Exclusivity Looked Like Then • Royal courts overflowed with queens, concubines, and attendants. • Yet the bride is celebrated as “unique”—the sole focus of the groom’s affection. • The point is not to endorse polygamy but to highlight the rarity and worth of one covenant partner amid countless options. Why Exclusivity Still Matters • Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” One flesh is singular, not plural. • Mark 10:8-9: Jesus reaffirms that two become one: “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” • Ephesians 5:25: Husbands are called to love with a Christ-like, self-giving love that is wholly devoted to one bride. Together these passages show that God designed marriage as an exclusive covenant between one man and one woman—a lifelong, faithful union that mirrors His own unwavering love. Living Out Exclusivity Today Guard the heart • Refuse comparisons; social media, movies, and advertising often glamorize “other options.” • Celebrate your spouse’s distinct gifts and appearance instead of longing for someone else’s traits. Guard the eyes • Job 31:1: “I have made a covenant with my eyes…” Stay clear of pornography and lingering, lustful glances. • Keep screens and devices transparent; shared passwords build trust. Guard the mind • Nip fantasy relationships early—whether with a coworker, an old flame online, or a fictional character. • Fill your thoughts with Philippians 4:8 qualities—whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely. Guard the calendar • Prioritize date nights, unhurried conversation, shared worship, and physical intimacy. • Say no to commitments that endlessly separate you; time together reinforces oneness. Guard the circle • Set boundaries with the opposite sex: private meetings, intimate texts, or emotional venting belong inside the marriage, not outside. • Invite godly couples or mentors to speak truth and hold you accountable. Encouragement for Husbands and Wives Husbands • Speak words of singular affection: tell her she is “my dove, my perfect one.” • Model sacrificial service—wash dishes, pray over her, shoulder burdens. Wives • Affirm his leadership and uniqueness; express admiration publicly and privately. • Cultivate a joyful spirit that welcomes him home and invites him to linger. Together • Remember that exclusivity is less about restriction and more about treasuring. • When the world presents “sixty queens and eighty concubines,” answer with the joyful resolve of Solomon’s bride: We choose each other, and that choice is enough. |
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