In what ways can we guard against manipulation in our own lives? Setting the Scene “He would get up early and stand beside the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone had a grievance to bring before the king for judgment, Absalom would call out to him and ask, ‘What town are you from?’ ” (2 Samuel 15:2) Absalom positions himself where the hurting gather, intercepts them before they reach the king, and crafts an image of concern. The moment looks harmless; the motive is deadly. Scripture records this episode so we will recognize manipulation when it sidles up beside us. Traits of Absalom’s Tactics • Proximity: he “stood beside the road” where needs surface. • Availability: he was “up early,” seizing first access. • Inquiry: “What town are you from?”—a question that sounds caring but scouts for leverage. • Flattery (vv. 3–4): assuring people their case deserved more attention than the king offered. • Display of empathy (v. 5): taking hold of their hands, kissing them, winning hearts. Spotting the Seeds of Manipulation Today 1. Strategic placement — people who appear wherever influence can be gathered. 2. Surfaced empathy — care that feels staged or disproportionate. 3. Quick promises — sweeping offers of help that bypass due process. 4. Subtle undermining — suggestions that legitimate authority is inadequate. 5. Flattery — words that swell the ego yet shrink discernment (Proverbs 29:5). Guardrails for Our Hearts 1. Ground yourself daily in God’s unchanging truth. • Psalm 1:2–3—delight in the Law; stability follows. • Ephesians 4:14—doctrinal grounding keeps us from being “carried about by every wind of doctrine.” 2. Cultivate a humble, teachable spirit. • Proverbs 11:2—“With the humble is wisdom.” • Galatians 6:3—self-importance blinds; humility clears vision. 3. Watch for flattery and ego appeal. • Proverbs 27:6—“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” • If someone’s praise feels intoxicating, pause and test motives. 4. Keep accountable relationships. • Ecclesiastes 4:9–10—two withstand where one might fall. • Invite trusted believers to speak truth even when it stings. 5. Test every counsel against Scripture. • Acts 17:11—the Bereans examined “the Scriptures daily to see if these teachings were true.” • Isaiah 8:20—“To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, there is no light in them.” 6. Guard your heart actively. • Proverbs 4:23—“Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow springs of life.” • Set intentional limits on voices that sow discontent or division. 7. Evaluate fruit, not just words. • Matthew 7:15–16—wolves wear sheep’s clothing, but “by their fruit you will recognize them.” • Ask: Does this influence produce peace, righteousness, and deeper obedience to Christ? 8. Maintain a posture of prayerful dependence. • James 1:5—wisdom is granted liberally to those who ask. • Psalm 139:23–24—regular self-examination keeps motives pure. Living the Lesson Absalom’s story warns that manipulation thrives where discernment sleeps. Staying close to the Lord, filtering every voice through His Word, and welcoming godly accountability form a strong defense. As we guard our hearts, we remain free to serve, love, and speak truth without falling prey to hidden agendas. |
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