How does Matthew 18:15 relate to the advice in Proverbs 25:9? Setting the Scene Matthew 18:15 and Proverbs 25:9 were written centuries apart, yet they breathe the same Spirit-given wisdom about handling offenses among God’s people. The Two Verses, Word for Word • Matthew 18:15: “If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” • Proverbs 25:9: “Argue your case with your neighbor directly, and do not betray another's confidence,” Shared Principle: Private, Personal Resolution • Both passages command a face-to-face approach—no gossip, no public shaming. • The offended person carries the responsibility to initiate the conversation. • Confidentiality protects reputations and stops a small hurt from snowballing. Purpose: Restoration, Not Retaliation • “You have won your brother over” (Matthew 18:15) highlights reconciliation, not revenge. • Proverbs assumes the same aim: clearing the matter “with your neighbor” rather than airing it elsewhere. • Galatians 6:1 echoes the tone: “Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.” Why Go in Private First • Avoids unnecessary embarrassment (cf. Proverbs 25:8). • Gives space for honest repentance or clarification. • Demonstrates love that “covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Guarding Confidentiality • Proverbs warns, “do not betray another's confidence,” forbidding third-party chatter. • Matthew’s pattern moves to additional witnesses only if Step One fails (Matthew 18:16), preserving secrecy as long as possible. • Leviticus 19:16 further forbids “slander among your people.” When Silence Is Sinful • Love does not ignore wrongdoing (Leviticus 19:17). • Both texts balance confidentiality with accountability; silence that enables sin is not biblical grace. More Scripture Echoes • James 5:19-20—turning a sinner back saves a soul. • Proverbs 17:9—“He who conceals a transgression seeks love.” • 2 Thessalonians 3:15—admonish as a brother, not as an enemy. Putting It Into Practice Today - Pray for humility and courage before approaching. - Go personally, promptly, plainly, and privately. - Speak facts, not suspicions; seek understanding. - If repentance occurs, forgive fully (Matthew 18:21-22). - Only involve others when absolutely necessary and in the order Jesus prescribes. - Keep the matter confidential unless the biblical process requires broader involvement. Handled God’s way, conflicts become opportunities to display gospel grace, strengthen relationships, and honor the Lord who commands truth and love in equal measure. |
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