How can we discern flattery from genuine praise in our daily interactions? Setting the Stage in Mark 12 “Then they sent some of the Pharisees and Herodians to catch Jesus in His words. They came and said to Him, ‘Teacher, we know that You are a man of integrity and You are swayed by no one; You do not regard appearances, but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it lawful to pay the tax to Caesar or not? Should we pay or not?’” The words sound complimentary, yet verse 13 reveals the motive: they wanted to “catch Jesus in His words.” Their sweet speech masked a trap—classic flattery. How Scripture Defines Flattery vs. Praise • Proverbs 29:5 — “A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.” • Psalm 12:2–3 — “They speak falsehood… with flattering lips and a double heart.” • Proverbs 27:2 — “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.” • 1 Thessalonians 2:5 — “As you know, we never used flattering words.” Flattery is praise with an ulterior motive; genuine praise is truthful affirmation that seeks another’s good and God’s glory. Tell-Tale Signs of Flattery • Hidden agenda: like the Pharisees, flatterers angle for advantage (Jude 16). • Excessive or exaggerated compliments that ignore reality. • Praise voiced to gain immediate favor (Proverbs 26:28). • Words that contradict the speaker’s known attitude or actions. • Pressure to make a quick decision after the compliment. Marks of Genuine Praise • Accuracy: it names specific, true qualities. • God-centered: ultimately points to the Lord’s work in a person (1 Corinthians 4:7). • No strings attached: nothing demanded in return. • Consistency: backed up by the speaker’s ongoing respect and actions. • Builds up without puffing up (Ephesians 4:15; 2 Corinthians 13:10). Practical Steps for Daily Discernment 1. Check motives—yours and theirs. Ask: “What outcome is being sought?” 2. Measure words against facts. Is the praise verifiable? 3. Watch timing. Compliments right before a request can signal manipulation. 4. Seek confirmation. Multiple witnesses (2 Corinthians 13:1) affirm genuine praise. 5. Pray for insight. The Spirit reveals the thoughts of the heart (1 Corinthians 2:10–11). 6. Respond wisely: • If it’s flattery, answer briefly and steer to truth, as Jesus did (Mark 12:15–17). • If it’s true praise, receive it humbly and redirect thanks to God (Psalm 115:1). Guarding Our Own Tongues • Commit to honesty: “Speak truth each one with his neighbor” (Ephesians 4:25). • Encourage without exaggeration (Proverbs 16:24). • Refuse manipulative speech; trust God to open necessary doors (Proverbs 3:5–6). • Aim for edification: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Living It Out The Pharisees’ empty compliments contrast sharply with Christ’s straightforward truth. By aligning our words and discernment with Scripture, we can spot nets of flattery, walk in sincere encouragement, and reflect our Lord who “did not need any testimony about man, for He knew what was in a man” (John 2:25). |
    |