How can we discern when to speak or remain silent in our lives? Setting the Scene “Joab said, ‘You are not the man to carry this news today. You may take the news another time, but you must not do so today, because the king’s son is dead.’” (2 Samuel 18:20) Ahimaaz longed to run with the report of Absalom’s defeat, yet Joab stopped him. The moment, the message, and the audience called for measured silence. From this single verse—and the broader counsel of Scripture—we find trustworthy principles for knowing when to speak and when to withhold words. Lesson 1 – Honor God-Given Authority • Joab outranked Ahimaaz; submission meant silence. • Romans 13:1—“There is no authority except from God.” • If a leader says, “Not now,” we wait unless the command contradicts God’s clear Word (Acts 5:29). Lesson 2 – Weigh the Gravity of the Message • Absalom’s death was tragic news for David. • Proverbs 15:23—“A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!” • Sensitive information requires prayerful timing; truth spoken too soon can wound. Lesson 3 – Discern the Listener’s Emotional State • David, already grieving, needed gentleness. • Proverbs 25:20—“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day… is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” • Matching tone and timing to someone’s pain often means silence first. Lesson 4 – Examine Personal Motives • Ahimaaz loved to run (2 Samuel 18:23); zeal alone is not discernment. • James 1:19—“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.” • Ask: Am I speaking to serve, or to be seen? Lesson 5 – Recognize God’s Timing • Ecclesiastes 3:7—“A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” • The Spirit may nudge restraint (Luke 12:11-12). • Waiting on God often clarifies words and softens hearts. Lesson 6 – Consider the Outcome of Silence • Joab eventually sent the Cushite; the news still reached David. • Proverbs 17:27-28—“He who restrains his words is knowledgeable… even a fool is considered wise when he holds his tongue.” • Silence can preserve relationships and testimony. Practical Steps for Daily Discernment 1. Pause and pray—invite the Spirit’s guidance (Psalm 141:3). 2. Measure the message—Is it true, necessary, loving, timely? 3. Read the room—How prepared is the listener? 4. Check authority—Do I have the right role to speak? 5. Search motives—Am I exalting Christ or self? 6. Decide—speak with grace (Colossians 4:6) or remain silent in trust. Walking Forward When God directs our words, speech becomes a healing gift; when He instructs quiet, silence speaks volumes of wisdom and love. May every conversation reflect His heart, whether in heartfelt words or in holy restraint. |
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