Having Children and not Married
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The topic of having children outside of marriage is addressed in various ways throughout the Bible, reflecting the cultural, moral, and theological perspectives of the biblical authors. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, marriage is often seen as the divinely ordained context for procreation and raising children. This entry explores the biblical perspective on having children outside of marriage, drawing from scriptural references and theological interpretations.

Biblical Context

1. Marriage as the Ideal Context for Family: The Bible consistently presents marriage as the ideal and intended context for sexual relations and childbearing. In Genesis 2:24 , it is written, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." This passage underscores the union of man and woman in marriage as the foundation for family life.

2. Procreation within Marriage: The command to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28) is given in the context of the first marriage between Adam and Eve. This directive is often interpreted as an endorsement of procreation within the marital bond.

3. Sexual Morality: The Bible contains numerous admonitions against sexual immorality, which includes premarital sexual relations. In 1 Corinthians 6:18 , Paul writes, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." This passage highlights the importance of sexual purity, which is traditionally understood to be preserved within marriage.

4. Consequences of Sexual Sin: The Bible recounts several narratives where sexual relations outside of marriage lead to negative consequences. For example, the account of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11) illustrates the personal and communal turmoil that can result from adultery and the birth of a child outside of wedlock.

5. Compassion and Redemption: Despite the emphasis on sexual purity, the Bible also emphasizes God's compassion and redemption for those who have sinned. In John 8:11 , Jesus tells the woman caught in adultery, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more." This reflects the possibility of forgiveness and a call to repentance and transformation.

Theological Interpretations

1. Sanctity of Marriage: Many conservative theologians emphasize the sanctity of marriage as the proper context for bearing and raising children. They argue that marriage provides the stability and commitment necessary for the nurturing of children.

2. Moral and Social Implications: From a moral standpoint, having children outside of marriage is often viewed as contrary to biblical teachings. It is believed to undermine the social and familial structures ordained by God.

3. Pastoral Care and Support: While upholding the biblical ideal of marriage, many Christian communities also focus on providing pastoral care and support to individuals and families affected by non-marital childbearing. This includes offering guidance, forgiveness, and practical assistance to help them align their lives with biblical principles.

4. Role of the Church: The church is seen as a community that upholds biblical teachings while extending grace and support to those who fall short. It plays a crucial role in teaching about the importance of marriage and family, as well as in ministering to those who have children outside of marriage.

In summary, the Bible presents marriage as the intended context for having children, emphasizing sexual purity and the sanctity of the marital bond. While acknowledging the reality of sin and its consequences, it also offers a message of forgiveness and redemption, encouraging individuals to seek alignment with God's design for family life.
Topical Bible Verses
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Topicalbible.org

Genesis 16:15
And Hagar bore Abram a son: and Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bore, Ishmael.
Topicalbible.org

Genesis 16:12
And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brothers.
Topicalbible.org

Library

St. Ambrose Meets the Objection of those who Make the Desire of ...
... marriage should again be entered upon for the sake of having children. ... reason for
marrying, certainly where there are children, the reason does not exist ...
/.../ambrose/works and letters of st ambrose/chapter xv st ambrose meets.htm

The Marriage of Church Dignitaries.
... is blameless, the husband of one wife, having children, that believe ... we were perplexed
why Paul does not at all permit those who have been twice married to be ...
/.../origens commentary on the gospel of matthew/22 the marriage of church.htm

There is this Further, that in that Very Debt which Married ...
... float at large without form and loose; having of itself ... an husband, and not to give
birth to children save from ... to that degree, that they spare not their wives ...
/.../augustine/on the good of marriage/section 4 there is this.htm

On Marriage.
... For if they shall not beget children, not having married, they produce, as far as
in them lies, a scarcity of men, and dissolve states and the world that is ...
/.../clement/the stromata or miscellanies/chapter xxiii on marriage.htm

And, the Case Being Thus, Enough and More than Enough Answer Has ...
... Testament, on the subject of their having several wives ... sought aught save children,
nor in children themselves aught ... flesh, not only let them not despise them ...
/.../augustine/on the good of marriage/section 33 and the case.htm

This Disease of Concupiscence in Marriage is not to be a Matter of ...
... the marriages of believers determined by the purpose of having such children born
as ... will spring from marriage; but if such result be not realized, there ...
/.../augustine/anti-pelagian writings/chapter 9 viii this disease of.htm

But I Marvel, If, as it is Allowed to Put Away a Wife Who...
... is an adulteress, so it be allowed, having put her ... is that bond of fellowship in
married persons, that ... begetting children, not even for the sake of begetting ...
/.../augustine/on the good of marriage/section 7 but i marvel.htm

Therefore if Haply, which Whether it Can Take Place...
... rather think it cannot take place; but yet, if haply), having taken unto ... so that,
when now married persons know that they shall not have children, yet it ...
/.../augustine/on the good of marriage/section 16 therefore if haply.htm

The Pelagians Try to Get Rid of Original Sin by their Praise of ...
... from it no man could be born in a sinful state, and having need of a ... Marriage was
instituted not for the purpose of sinning, but of producing children. ...
/.../augustine/anti-pelagian writings/chapter 42 the pelagians try to.htm

How Hyrcanus was Set at Liberty by the Parthians, and Returned to ...
... because he had been made governor of that country without having any just ... the king,
who had also brought Alexander [two] children, could not bear this ...
/.../josephus/the antiquities of the jews/chapter 2 how hyrcanus was.htm

Resources
Is it acceptable to God for a husband and wife to have sex while the wife is menstruating / having her period? | GotQuestions.org

How can I overcome having a critical spirit? | GotQuestions.org

How should Christians view the idea of Muslims having dreams/visions about Jesus? | GotQuestions.org

Having: Dictionary and Thesaurus | Clyx.com

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Seeing (442 Occurrences)

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Having Babies
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