What steps can we take to remain faithful friends during others' trials? A Painful Picture from Job 6:15 “But my brothers are as faithless as wadis, as seasonal streams that overflow.” • Job compares his friends to desert ravines that gush during a storm and vanish when the heat comes. • The imagery is literal: in the Middle East, a wadi can look promising after rain yet leave travelers stranded once the water disappears. • Job feels stranded—his friends’ early sympathy has evaporated at the first sign of prolonged pain. Why Friends Fail: The Wadi Test • Initial emotion without lasting commitment. (Proverbs 25:19) • Fear of messy, long-term suffering. (Luke 10:31-32) • Assuming we must fix, explain, or theologize instead of simply standing near. (Job 16:2) Staying by the Suffering: Concrete Steps 1. Show up and keep showing up • “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17) • Schedule recurring contact: texts, visits, errands, meals. Faithfulness is measured in weeks and months. 2. Listen longer than seems necessary • “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.” (James 1:19) • Use phrases like, “Tell me more,” “I’m here,” rather than advice. 3. Share sacrificially • “Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) • Provide childcare, lawn care, rides to appointments, financial help—whatever lightens the load. 4. Match their mood • “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15) • If they laugh, laugh; if they mourn, mourn. Resist directing the conversation back to yourself. 5. Maintain confidentiality • “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:13) • Guard their story as carefully as you would your own. Guarding Our Words • Avoid theological lectures while wounds are raw. (Job 13:5) • Speak hope grounded in Scripture at a pace the sufferer can bear. • Use simple, honest statements: “I don’t understand either, but God is still good.” • When correction is needed, give it gently and later. (1 Thessalonians 5:14) Carrying the Load Together • Enlist other believers so support doesn’t rest on one pair of shoulders. • Rotate practical help: meals, cleaning, hospital visits. • Stay accountable—check in with co-helpers about ongoing needs. Pointing Hearts to the Faithful God • The goal is not that friends lean on us forever, but that we escort them to the unwavering stream: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) • Pray for them privately and tell them you are praying; offer to read Scripture aloud or send a verse. • Remind them gently of future glory: “Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:17) Finishing Well in Friendship • Perseverance turns a wadi into a river—steady, life-giving, dependable. • Mark anniversaries of loss or diagnosis; reach out again when everyone else moves on. • Trust the Spirit to use your quiet faithfulness. What begins as costly service often blossoms into deeper fellowship for both of you. |
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