Why did Amnon tell Jonadab about Tamar?
Why did Amnon confide in Jonadab about his feelings for Tamar in 2 Samuel 13:4?

Biblical Text and Immediate Context

“Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab was a very shrewd man, and he asked Amnon, ‘Why are you, the king’s son, so depressed morning after morning? Will you not tell me?’ ‘I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister,’ he replied.” (2 Samuel 13:3-4)

The narrative places Amnon’s confession inside the royal compound, after he has already allowed illicit desire to dominate his thoughts (v. 2). Scripture explicitly links Amnon’s disclosure to Jonadab’s penetrating inquiry and Jonadab’s reputation for cunning.


Character Profiles: Amnon and Jonadab

Amnon—David’s firstborn (2 Samuel 3:2)—enjoyed heir-apparent status and unfettered access to palace resources. Yet his passions eclipsed covenantal duty. Jonadab, David’s nephew, is labeled “שָׁכָל” (ḥākām in nuance), a word denoting skillful cleverness; it often carries morally neutral or negative overtones when detached from the fear of the LORD (cf. Proverbs 1:7). Thus, Jonadab was known in court not merely as kin but as an astute strategist.


Kinship Networks and Royal Court Dynamics

Ancient Near Eastern courts functioned by patron-client ties; confidences flowed along kinship lines. Archaeological parallels from Ugarit tablets (13th c. B.C.) and the Samaria Ostraca (9th c. B.C.) show princes consulting cousins in administrative and personal matters. Amnon’s choice of Jonadab reflects this cultural norm: cousins within the royal clan offered politically safe counsel that avoided public scrutiny.


Psychological and Moral Factors

1. Shared Status: Both men were sons of prominent members of the royal family. Social parity fostered emotional safety for disclosure.

2. Perceived Discretion: Jonadab’s “shrewdness” signaled an ability to devise covert solutions—precisely what Amnon’s lust required.

3. Sin’s Isolation: Lust thrives in secrecy (James 1:14-15). Instead of repenting, Amnon sought an accomplice who would validate, not challenge, his desires.


Jonadab’s Reputation for Wisdom

The Hebrew text juxtaposes “friend” (rêaʿ) with “very shrewd” (ḥākām me’ōd). Later in the chapter Jonadab accurately forecasts Absalom’s limited vengeance (v. 32-33), reinforcing his knack for political insight. Amnon therefore expected that Jonadab could fashion a plausible scheme without alerting King David.


Covenantal Ethics Violated

Leviticus 18:9 expressly forbids sexual relations with a half-sister: “You must not uncover the nakedness of your sister… she is your sister” . By confiding in Jonadab rather than a priest or prophet, Amnon circumvented Torah accountability. The episode showcases how ungodly counsel subverts covenant obligations (Psalm 1:1).


Spiritual Blindness and Sin’s Deception

Romans 1:21-24 describes the darkened mind exchanging truth for desire. Amnon’s confession is not a plea for help but a solicitation for strategy. Jonadab’s readiness to participate evidences shared moral blindness. The narrative underscores Proverbs 13:20: “The companion of fools will be destroyed” .


Socio-Cultural Norms of Counsel Seeking

Ancient wisdom literature (e.g., Instruction of Amenemope, c. 1000 B.C.) advises princes to consult “trusted companions” for delicate matters. Amnon’s action aligns with the era’s practice, yet Scripture delineates between godly and ungodly counsel. His choice reveals priorities—expediency over righteousness.


Contrast with Scriptural Wisdom on Counsel

Proverbs 27:6—“Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” A true friend would rebuke sin (Leviticus 19:17). Jonadab instead facilitates it, illustrating 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Bad company corrupts good character.” The text warns readers to discern counsel by its conformity to God’s Word.


The Providential Frame: God’s Sovereign Narrative

Nathan had prophesied that David’s house would experience internal turmoil as consequence for his sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12:10-12). Amnon’s disclosure to Jonadab, and the ensuing tragedy, unfold under divine sovereignty without absolving human responsibility. The episode vindicates the reliability of prophetic Scripture.


Practical Theology and Application

Believers must:

• Seek counselors who fear God (Proverbs 9:10).

• Expose sinful desire to the light of Scripture and accountable fellowship (Ephesians 5:11-13).

• Remember that unrepented lust escalates to destructive action (James 1:15).


Witness of Manuscript Consistency

All major Hebrew witnesses—Masoretic Text (Leningrad B19A), Dead Sea Scroll fragment 4QSam, and ancient Greek Septuagint—preserve the detail that Jonadab was “very shrewd,” underscoring the textual integrity behind our analysis. This unanimity buttresses the historical reliability of the event.


Summary Answer

Amnon confided in Jonadab because Jonadab was a close royal cousin renowned for cunning counsel; Amnon trusted him to devise a discreet method to gratify forbidden lust. Cultural expectations of kin-based advice, psychological need for validation, and the deceptive pull of sin converged, leading Amnon to choose a crafty accomplice rather than a godly adviser.

How can we guard our hearts against manipulation as seen in 2 Samuel 13:4?
Top of Page
Top of Page