2 Samuel 19:6

You love those who hate you and hate those who love you! For you have made it clear today that the commanders and soldiers mean nothing to you. I know today that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead, it would have pleased you!

Study Bible

You love those who hate you
This phrase highlights a reversal of expected loyalties and affections. In the context of 2 Samuel 19, King David is mourning the death of his son Absalom, who had led a rebellion against him. This mourning is seen as inappropriate by Joab, David's military commander, because Absalom was an enemy of the state. The cultural expectation in ancient Israel was for a king to prioritize the welfare of his loyal subjects and soldiers over personal feelings, especially when those feelings were for someone who had caused so much harm. This phrase can also be seen as a reflection of the broader biblical theme of misplaced affections, where love is given to those who oppose God's will.

and hate those who love you!
Joab accuses David of neglecting those who have shown him loyalty and love, namely his commanders and soldiers who risked their lives to protect his kingdom. In the historical context, loyalty to a king was paramount, and a king's failure to reciprocate that loyalty could lead to instability and loss of morale among his followers. This phrase underscores the tension between personal grief and public duty, a recurring theme in the life of David. It also serves as a reminder of the importance of recognizing and valuing the support of those who stand by us.

For you have made it clear today that the commanders and soldiers mean nothing to you.
Joab's rebuke points to the visible actions and attitudes of David, which have demoralized his troops. In the ancient Near Eastern context, a king's relationship with his military was crucial for maintaining power and security. The commanders and soldiers were the backbone of the kingdom's defense, and their loyalty was essential. By mourning Absalom so publicly, David inadvertently communicated that their sacrifices were unappreciated. This phrase highlights the need for leaders to balance personal emotions with their responsibilities to those they lead.

I know today that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead, it would have pleased you!
This hyperbolic statement by Joab is meant to shock David into realizing the implications of his actions. It suggests that David's grief for Absalom has overshadowed his appreciation for the lives and loyalty of his followers. Historically, this reflects the intense personal and political turmoil David faced during Absalom's rebellion. Theologically, it can be seen as a moment of correction for David, urging him to realign his priorities with God's purposes for his kingship. This phrase also serves as a reminder of the cost of divided loyalties and the importance of valuing those who stand by us in times of trial.

Persons / Places / Events

1. David
The King of Israel, who is mourning the death of his son Absalom, despite Absalom's rebellion against him.

2. Joab
David's military commander, who confronts David about his excessive mourning for Absalom, which demoralizes the troops.

3. Absalom
David's son, who led a rebellion against his father and was killed in battle.

4. Israel
The nation over which David reigns, currently experiencing internal conflict due to Absalom's rebellion.

5. The Commanders and Soldiers
The loyal men who fought for David against Absalom's forces.

Teaching Points

The Danger of Misplaced Affections
David's mourning for Absalom, who sought his life, illustrates the potential for misplaced affections to cloud judgment and leadership responsibilities.

The Importance of Leadership Responsibility
Joab's rebuke highlights the necessity for leaders to balance personal emotions with their duties to those they lead.

The Role of Accountability
Joab's confrontation with David serves as a reminder of the importance of having people in our lives who can speak truth to us, even when it is uncomfortable.

Balancing Grief and Duty
While grief is natural, it must be balanced with our responsibilities, especially when others depend on us.

The Cost of Rebellion
Absalom's account is a cautionary tale about the consequences of rebellion against God-ordained authority.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does David's reaction to Absalom's death reflect the tension between personal emotions and leadership responsibilities?

2. In what ways can we ensure that our affections and priorities align with God's will, especially in positions of leadership?

3. How can we cultivate relationships that allow for accountability, similar to Joab's role in David's life?

4. What lessons can we learn from David's experience about balancing personal grief with our responsibilities to others?

5. How does the account of Absalom's rebellion and its consequences inform our understanding of the importance of submitting to God-ordained authority?

Connections to Other Scriptures

1 Samuel 15:22
This verse emphasizes obedience over sacrifice, paralleling Joab's rebuke of David for prioritizing personal grief over his kingly duties.

Proverbs 27:6
This verse speaks to the value of faithful wounds from a friend, akin to Joab's harsh but necessary confrontation with David.

Matthew 10:37
Jesus' teaching on prioritizing love for Him over familial ties can be seen as a parallel to David's need to prioritize his role as king over personal grief.