What can we learn about choosing friends from Amnon's relationship with Jonadab?

Setting the Scene: A Friendship That Led to Ruin

“But Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab was a very shrewd man.” (2 Samuel 13:3)

• Amnon’s passion for Tamar was sinful, yet dormant.

• Jonadab’s crafty suggestion—“Pretend you are ill” (v. 5)—supplied the scheme Amnon lacked.

• The tragedy that followed (rape, murder, family fracture) grew from one conversation with the wrong confidant.

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The Power of Influence

• Proverbs 13:20 — “He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

• 1 Corinthians 15:33 — “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’”

• Jonadab’s “shrewdness” was worldly, not godly; his advice weaponized Amnon’s lust instead of restraining it.

• A single voice can tip a heart already leaning toward sin.

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Traits to Look For in Friends

• God-fearing (Psalm 119:63) — those who “fear You” make dependable companions.

• Truth-speaking (Ephesians 4:25) — friends who will tell hard truth, not flattering lies.

• Self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23) — their own restraint encourages yours.

• Loyal but righteous (Proverbs 27:6) — “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”; they care more about your soul than your comfort.

• Prayerful (Colossians 4:12) — they carry you to God before they carry you into plans.

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Danger Signs to Avoid

• Craftiness celebrated over integrity (James 3:15).

• Flattery that feeds fleshly desires (Proverbs 29:5).

• Advice pressing you toward secrecy or deception (John 3:20).

• A pattern of scoffing at Scripture or authority (Psalm 1:1).

• Friends who suddenly disappear when consequences arrive (contrast Jonadab’s quick distancing in 2 Samuel 13:32-35).

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Building a Circle of God-Honoring Friends

• Ask the Lord for kindred hearts (Psalm 37:4).

• Engage in fellowship where the Word is central (Acts 2:42).

• Serve together; shared ministry reveals character (Philippians 2:22).

• Be the friend you seek—offer counsel rooted in Scripture, not impulse (Proverbs 27:17).

• Regularly evaluate influences; prune unhealthy connections to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23).

Amnon’s story reminds us that the counsel we entertain shapes the choices we make—and those choices ripple far beyond us. Choose friends whose words steer you toward Christ, not away from Him.