How can we apply Elihu's approach to resolving conflicts in our lives? The Setting: Elihu’s Open Invitation “If you have something to say, then answer me; speak up, for I would like to vindicate you.” Elihu, the younger listener in Job’s debate, finally speaks. His invitation is neither dismissive nor domineering; it is an earnest appeal for open dialogue. From this single verse—and the surrounding chapters—we glean a gracious model for settling conflicts. Wait Your Turn and Listen Well • Job 32:4 – “Now Elihu had waited to speak to Job because the others were older than he.” • Proverbs 18:13 – “He who answers before he hears—it is folly and shame to him.” Elihu did not rush in. He allowed others to finish, honoring their place and gaining a full understanding before responding. Waiting cultivates humility and clarifies the real issues. Practical takeaway • Hold back until the other person has completely expressed themselves. • Summarize what you heard; affirm you understood correctly before adding your perspective. Speak in Dependence on the Spirit, Not on Personal Heat • Job 33:4 – “The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” • James 1:19 – “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” Elihu’s confidence hinges on God’s Spirit, not human eloquence. Rooting our words in the Lord’s enabling restrains rash outbursts and elevates the discussion. Practical takeaway • Pray for the Spirit’s guidance before addressing the matter. • Check motives; speak to honor God, not to win an argument. Invite Honest Dialogue and Accountability • Job 33:32 – “If you have something to say, then answer me; speak up, for I would like to vindicate you.” • Matthew 18:15 – “If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately.” Elihu opens the floor: “Speak up.” He welcomes correction even as he offers it, showing genuine fairness. Practical takeaway • Create space where the other person feels safe to respond. • Assure them you are willing to be corrected if you’ve misunderstood. Aim for Restoration, Not Personal Triumph • Job 33:32 – “I would like to vindicate you.” • Galatians 6:1 – “Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.” Elihu’s goal is Job’s vindication—restoring honor, not inflicting defeat. Practical takeaway • State your aim: to see the other person understood, healed, or restored. • Celebrate wins for the relationship, not for ego. Ground Your Words in Truth and Integrity • Job 33:3 – “My words come from an upright heart; my lips speak sincerely what they know.” • Ephesians 4:25 – “Speak truth each one to his neighbor.” Elihu does not rely on flattery (Job 32:21–22). Honest speech, anchored in truth, exposes error without slander. Practical takeaway • Check facts; avoid exaggeration. • Reject gossip and sweeping generalizations. Keep God’s Character Central • Job 34:10 – “Far be it from God to do evil.” • Psalm 145:17 – “The LORD is righteous in all His ways.” Elihu repeatedly points Job back to God’s justice and mercy. By elevating God’s character, he lifts the conversation above personal grievances. Practical takeaway • Frame the conflict in light of God’s righteousness and grace. • Ask, “How can both of us reflect Christ better through this?” Reject Partiality and Flattery • Job 32:21–22 – “I will show no partiality to any man, nor will I flatter any man.” • Proverbs 24:23 – “To show partiality in judgment is not good.” Favoritism poisons trust. Elihu’s even-handedness guards credibility. Practical takeaway • Treat every party with the same respect and candor. • Let Scripture, not personal alliances, guide conclusions. Stay Teachable and Humble • Job 33:33 – “If not, then listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom.” • 2 Timothy 2:24 – “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.” Elihu offers to teach but remains open to hear. True humility invites reciprocal growth. Practical takeaway • After sharing, invite feedback: “Have I missed something?” • Remain willing to apologize and adjust when proven wrong. Summary Steps for Applying Elihu’s Model 1. Listen fully before responding. 2. Seek the Spirit’s help and guard against anger. 3. Invite honest two-way dialogue. 4. Aim for the other person’s restoration, not your victory. 5. Speak truthfully, without flattery or bias. 6. Keep God’s righteous character at the center. 7. Maintain humility and teachability throughout. By walking Elihu’s path—patient listening, Spirit-led speaking, truth in love, and a restorative aim—we transform conflicts into opportunities for God-honoring reconciliation. |
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