Why do some Christians behave unkindly? 1. Introduction and Scope The question of why some individuals who profess faith nevertheless exhibit unkindness can be perplexing. Scripture presents an ideal of love, humility, and compassion, yet history and personal experience reveal that not all who call themselves believers consistently display these virtues. This entry explores the reasons behind unkind behavior, drawing upon biblical teaching and practical considerations. 2. The Nature of Human Fallibility From the earliest pages of Scripture, humanity’s inclination toward sin is evident. Despite the call to holiness, even the most devout can succumb to selfish impulses. Genesis 3 outlines the first act of disobedience, establishing a universal tendency toward wrong. • Romans 3:23 underscores this: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” This foundational premise explains the ongoing struggle within believers—a struggle between the flesh, prone to wrongdoing, and the Spirit, leading to righteousness (Galatians 5:17). 2.1. A Believer’s Ongoing Battle Though a person may be spiritually reborn by faith, the reality of living in a fallen world means temptations to be unkind persist. This internal conflict is addressed throughout the Epistles, exhorting believers to put off the “old self” (Ephesians 4:22) and put on the new. 3. The Role of Spiritual Maturity and Sanctification Kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22), suggesting that growth in spiritual maturity fosters compassionate behavior. Yet not all who profess faith progress at the same pace. 3.1. Immaturity and Lack of Discipleship Inadequate discipleship and minimal scriptural engagement can lead to stunted spiritual growth. Hebrews 5:12-14 notes that some remain content with “milk” instead of “solid food,” resulting in weak spiritual development and a greater likelihood of unkind behavior. 3.2. Authentic vs. Cultural Profession Some adopt the label “Christian” due to tradition or environment without a genuine heart transformation. Matthew 7:21 warns: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven…” This passage highlights the difference between nominal profession and true faith, which should manifest in loving deeds (James 2:17). 4. Influence of Personal and Cultural Factors Spiritual maturity intersects with a believer’s personal history, temperament, and cultural context. Unkindness might arise from emotional wounds, societal norms, or misunderstandings about biblical teachings. 4.1. Wounds, Trauma, and Unkind Reactions Life experiences such as abuse or trauma can influence how individuals interact with others. While Scripture calls for forgiveness and transformation (Ephesians 4:32), these inward changes can be gradual. If unaddressed, hidden wounds may manifest in impatience, anger, or harsh judgment. 4.2. Cultural Misconceptions In certain settings, cultural norms may overshadow biblical values. For instance, a competitive or individualistic culture might tolerate rudeness as strength. This tension must be addressed through intentional discipleship, aligning one’s behavior with scriptural teaching rather than societal standards. 5. Hypocrisy Versus Struggling Believers Not all unkind acts stem from hypocrisy; many believers genuinely strive for goodness yet fail at times. Still, Scripture warns about hypocrisy—saying one thing while doing another. 5.1. The Pharisaical Example Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for their focus on external religiosity instead of genuine love (Matthew 23:23). Modern believers can fall into similar patterns, prioritizing appearances or self-righteousness over authentic compassion. 5.2. Genuine Struggle Others commit unkind acts yet feel conviction and remorse, seeking repentance. Proverbs 24:16 observes that “though a righteous man may fall seven times, he still gets up.” Believers striving to overcome their failings demonstrate sincerity, even if they falter. 6. The Call to Transformation Scripture provides clear directives to combat unkindness. Romans 12:2 urges, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This implies: 1. Regular scriptural study for renewing one’s thoughts. 2. Prayer and reliance on the Holy Spirit. 3. Accountability within a community of faith. 6.1. Importance of the Heart Biblical kindness stems from a heart aligned with God's character. Jesus teaches in Luke 6:45 that “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Cultivating love, patience, and humility at the heart level leads to more consistent external kindness. 6.2. The Fruit of the Spirit Galatians 5:22-23 lists the attributes the Spirit produces in the believer: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” This list undergirds the believer’s conduct, supplying divine help to overcome unkind impulses. 7. Biblical Examples of Growth Beyond Unkindness Scripture includes men and women who initially acted harshly yet were changed. • Saul of Tarsus (Acts 9) persecuted believers but became the Apostle Paul, later penning epistles that emphasize compassion (1 Corinthians 13). • John, once referred to as one of the “Sons of Thunder” (Mark 3:17) for a fiery disposition, became known as the Apostle of Love, urging believers to love one another (1 John 4:7). These stories demonstrate that unkind behavior can be overcome through genuine repentance and reliance on God’s power. 8. Consequences of Unkindness Though salvation for believers rests on grace (Ephesians 2:8-9), the New Testament consistently shows that unkindness erodes fellowship and impedes the church’s witness. • 1 John 4:20 states, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates his brother, he is a liar.” Persistent unkindness harms relationships within families, friendships, and congregations. Furthermore, it undermines the credibility of the gospel message before the watching world (John 13:35). 9. Practical Steps to Foster Kindness 1. Regular Self-Examination: Praying alongside passages like Psalm 139:23-24 helps believers identify attitudes and habits leading to unkind actions. 2. Cultivating Prayerful Dependence: Recognizing the need for the Holy Spirit’s help aligns believers with God’s transformative power (Philippians 4:6-7). 3. Community and Accountability: Healthy relationships with mature believers offer correction, support, and encouragement to grow in kindness (Proverbs 27:17). 4. Applying Scriptural Principles: Embracing commands to love neighbor (Matthew 22:39) and practice humility (Philippians 2:3) fosters a daily discipline of kindheartedness. 10. Final Reflection Some professing believers act unkindly for various reasons, including immaturity, unaddressed past hurts, cultural influences, and ongoing struggles between flesh and Spirit. Yet such behavior need not remain unchanged. Scripture consistently declares that those who trust, obey, and remain in divine fellowship can reflect genuine love. As believers embrace the Holy Spirit's work and faithfully apply scriptural truth, their actions can align more closely with the kindness and grace that Scripture presents as the hallmark of genuine faith. Endeavoring to walk according to God’s Word, believers can display kindness in an often unkind world, inviting others to experience the transforming power that flows from a renewed mind and heart. |
    |