How can we support those who experience trauma, as seen in 2 Samuel 13:19? Seeing the Ashes and Torn Robe: Recognizing Trauma • 2 Samuel 13:19 pictures Tamar “put ashes on her head and tore the long robe she was wearing…crying aloud as she went.” • Noticeable outward signs—withdrawal, tears, agitation—often signal inner wounds. • Resist dismissing or explaining away these signs; respond with compassionate attention. • Proverbs 18:13 reminds, “He who answers before he listens—this is folly and shame.” Hear first, speak later. Standing Near in Silence: Valuing Lament • Trauma survivors may need space to grieve loudly, as Tamar did. • Job’s friends helped most when they “sat on the ground with him…no one spoke a word” (Job 2:13). • Offer a listening presence—quietly, patiently, without rushing resolution. • Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” Enter their sorrow; don’t demand they exit it quickly. Guarding Dignity and Safety • Tamar’s shame came not from her own sin but from violence done to her (2 Samuel 13:13). • Validate that the wrong was real and not her fault. • Shield from gossip or blame; remind them God sees and values them (Psalm 139:1-18). • Provide safe environments—emotionally, spiritually, physically—where they can heal without fear of further harm. Offering Practical Help • Amnon’s abuse left Tamar isolated; she “remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house” (2 Samuel 13:20). Don’t leave the hurting alone. • Practical support ideas: – Meals, childcare, transportation to counseling or medical appointments – Help navigating legal or medical processes – Regular check-ins: a text, call, or visit that says, “You’re not forgotten.” • Galatians 6:2: “Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Speaking Healing Truth from Scripture • Psalm 34:18: “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” • Isaiah 61:1 foretells Messiah “to bind up the brokenhearted.” Jesus claims this mission in Luke 4:18. • Remind them God’s character: just, compassionate, present. • Share verses only when the survivor is receptive; Scripture should comfort, not be a band-aid to silence pain. Connecting to the Body of Christ • Healing accelerates in community. Encourage involvement with trustworthy believers trained in care. • Facilitate introductions to biblically minded counselors or support groups. • 1 Corinthians 12:26: “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it.” The church must live this reality. Looking to the Man of Sorrows • Isaiah 53:3 names Christ “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” He understands trauma firsthand. • Hebrews 4:15: “We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses.” • Invite the hurting to bring their pain to Jesus, who “bore our griefs” (Isaiah 53:4) and promises rest (Matthew 11:28-30). • Our role: keep pointing to the Savior who redeems broken stories and will one day “wipe away every tear” (Revelation 21:4). |
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