What does "Honor your father and mother" mean in Ephesians 6:2? Text and Immediate Context “Honor your father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2). In Paul’s letter, the command is cited verbatim from Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, then followed by v. 3, “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1 had just exhorted, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Obedience (v. 1) is the action, honor (v. 2) is the attitude and lifelong posture. The Greek Term “τίμα” (timáō) The verb τιμάω carries the ideas of “to value highly, prize, revere, treat as weighty.” In classical Greek it was used of paying a due price; in the Septuagint (LXX) it translates Hebrew kāḇēd, “to make heavy,” hence to esteem. Paul intentionally quotes the imperative present active, expressing ongoing, habitual action that extends beyond childhood. Old Testament Foundation 1. Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16—part of the Decalogue, positioned as the hinge between duties toward God (commands 1–4) and duties toward neighbor (commands 6–10). 2. The promise—“so that your days may be long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12)—refers both to individual longevity and national stability in the Promised Land. 3. Mosaic case law enforced the command with capital penalties for persistent, violent rebellion (Exodus 21:15, 17; Deuteronomy 21:18-21), underscoring its gravity. Continuity in the New Covenant Jesus affirmed the command (Matthew 15:4-6; Mark 7:9-13), rebuking the Pharisaic “Corban” loophole that withheld material support from aged parents. Paul’s appeal shows that moral law transcends covenants; the first four verses of Ephesians 6 mirror the household code already laid down in Ephesians 5:22-33. “The First Command with a Promise” Explained Among the Ten Commandments, only the fifth attaches an explicit blessing. Paul calls it “first” in the sense of precedence within the social sphere and prominence among children’s responsibilities. The promise is not a mechanical guarantee but a covenantal principle: societies that cultivate filial honor enjoy stability and long-term flourishing, a reality observable in history and affirmed by modern sociological research on family cohesion and life expectancy. Scope of “Father and Mother” Both parents are to be honored equally. In Greco-Roman culture, patria potestas gave fathers near-absolute authority; Paul’s inclusion of mothers provides a Spirit-inspired corrective and elevates the dignity of women (cf. Proverbs 1:8). Honor versus Obedience • Children under parental authority: honor is expressed chiefly through obedience (Ephesians 6:1). • Adult children: honor persists—expressed through respect, gratitude, counsel-seeking, and especially financial and physical care (1 Timothy 5:4, 8). • When parental directives conflict with the Lord’s will, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29), but even refusal must remain respectful. Practical Expressions of Honor 1. Speech—no contempt, ridicule, or harsh cursing (Leviticus 19:32; Proverbs 30:17). 2. Attitude—esteem parents’ God-given role, forgive imperfections, thank them for sacrifices. 3. Care—ensure food, shelter, medical needs (Mark 7:10-13). 4. Legacy—preserve family stories of God’s faithfulness (Exodus 13:8-14; Psalm 78:5-7). 5. Representation—live in a way that reflects positively on the family name (Proverbs 10:1). Early Christian Interpretation • Ignatius (c. A.D. 110) urged believers “to love your parents in the flesh as your spiritual fathers.” • Didache 4.3 lists honor of parents immediately after love of God and neighbor. • Augustine connected the command to honoring church fathers and governmental authorities, implying a wider application of ordered respect. Theological Rationale The family mirrors the triune order: as the Son eternally honors the Father (John 17:24), children honor parents. Parental authority delegated by God teaches submission to divine authority, preparing hearts for the gospel. Dishonor of parents is a hallmark of depravity in Romans 1:30 and 2 Timothy 3:2, signaling societal decay. Limits and Higher Allegiance Luke 14:26’s hyperbolic “hate” emphasizes relative allegiance: when parents oppose Christ, loyalty to Him supersedes, but the ethic of honor remains intact (cf. 1 Peter 3:16). Application to Contemporary Issues • End-of-life decisions: honoring parents rejects utilitarian euthanasia; caring presence reflects Imago Dei. • Social media: refrain from public denigration of parents; instead use platforms to honor them. • Blended and foster families: honor extends to step-parents and guardians who fulfill parental roles (Esther 2:7). Conclusion To “honor your father and mother” in Ephesians 6:2 is an unending, holistic calling to esteem, revere, and care for one’s parents in heart, word, and deed. It is rooted in God’s moral law, affirmed by Christ, woven through apostolic teaching, beneficial to individuals and societies, and ultimately glorifying to the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name (Ephesians 3:14-15). |
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