In biblical times, engagement, or betrothal, was a formal and binding agreement between a man and a woman, often arranged by their families. This period was considered as significant as marriage itself, with specific expectations and responsibilities placed upon the engaged man.

Biblical Context and Responsibilities

The engagement period was a time of preparation and commitment. The engaged man was expected to demonstrate faithfulness and integrity, as the betrothal was legally binding. In Deuteronomy 22:23-24, the seriousness of betrothal is highlighted, where a betrothed virgin and a man who lies with her are both subject to severe consequences, underscoring the sanctity of this commitment.

The engaged man was also responsible for preparing a home for his future wife. This is reflected in the cultural practices of the time, where the man would often build or prepare a place for the couple to live after marriage. This is echoed in John 14:2-3, where Jesus uses the imagery of preparing a place to describe His relationship with the Church, His bride.

Joseph, the Betrothed of Mary

Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, serves as a notable example of an engaged man in the Bible. In Matthew 1:18-19 , Joseph is described as a "righteous man" who, upon discovering Mary's pregnancy, initially planned to divorce her quietly to avoid public disgrace. However, after an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, Joseph chose to obey God's command and took Mary as his wife, demonstrating his faithfulness and obedience to God.

Moral and Spiritual Expectations

Engaged men were expected to uphold moral purity and spiritual leadership. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 , Paul exhorts believers to "abstain from sexual immorality" and to "control [their] own body in holiness and honor." This call to purity is particularly relevant during the engagement period, as it reflects the commitment to honor God and one's future spouse.

Furthermore, engaged men were to lead spiritually, setting a foundation for a Christ-centered marriage. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to "love [their] wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." While this verse addresses husbands, the principle of sacrificial love and spiritual leadership begins during engagement.

Cultural and Historical Insights

In ancient Jewish culture, the betrothal period typically lasted about a year, during which the couple was considered legally married, though they did not live together or consummate the marriage until the wedding ceremony. This period allowed the man to demonstrate his ability to provide and care for his future wife.

The engagement was often sealed with a bride price or dowry, a tangible expression of the man's commitment and ability to support his future family. This practice is seen in Genesis 24, where Abraham's servant presents gifts to Rebekah's family as part of the betrothal process to Isaac.

Conclusion

The role of engaged men in the Bible is marked by a commitment to faithfulness, moral integrity, and spiritual leadership. These principles continue to serve as a guide for Christian men preparing for marriage today, emphasizing the importance of honoring God and one's future spouse during the engagement period.