Topical Bible: Marriage: Parents Might Refuse to Give Their Children In

◄ Marriage: Parents Might Refuse to Give Their Children In ►

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In biblical times, marriage was not merely a union between two individuals but a covenant that involved families and communities. Parents played a significant role in the arrangement and approval of marriages, often acting as gatekeepers to ensure that unions were beneficial for the family and aligned with cultural and religious values.

Parental Authority and Consent

The authority of parents in the marriage process is evident throughout Scripture. In ancient Israel, marriages were typically arranged by the parents, particularly the father, who had the final say in giving his daughter in marriage. This practice is rooted in the patriarchal structure of society, where the father was the head of the household and responsible for the welfare and honor of the family.

One of the clearest examples of parental involvement is found in the account of Isaac and Rebekah. Abraham, seeking a wife for his son Isaac, sent his servant to his relatives to find a suitable bride. Rebekah's family, particularly her brother Laban and her father Bethuel, were consulted and gave their consent before Rebekah was allowed to leave with the servant (Genesis 24:50-51).

Refusal to Give in Marriage

There are instances in Scripture where parents might refuse to give their children in marriage. Such refusals could be based on various factors, including religious, cultural, or personal reasons. For example, the Israelites were instructed not to intermarry with the surrounding nations to prevent the influence of idolatry and to maintain their covenant relationship with God (Deuteronomy 7:3-4). This command underscores the importance of religious compatibility and the potential for parents to refuse a marriage that could lead their children away from their faith.

In the case of Samson, his parents initially resisted his desire to marry a Philistine woman, questioning why he would choose a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines rather than from among his own people (Judges 14:3). Their hesitation reflects a concern for maintaining cultural and religious integrity.

Cultural and Familial Considerations

Cultural customs and familial alliances also played a role in marriage decisions. Marriages were often used to strengthen family ties, secure property, and ensure the continuation of family lineage. Parents might refuse a marriage if it did not align with these objectives or if it threatened the family's social standing.

The account of Jacob and Leah provides insight into the complexities of marriage arrangements. Laban, Leah's father, deceived Jacob into marrying Leah before he could marry Rachel, the woman he loved (Genesis 29:23-26). This incident highlights the authority of the father in marriage decisions and the potential for parental intervention to alter the course of marital plans.

Conclusion

The biblical perspective on marriage emphasizes the significant role of parents in the marriage process. While love and personal choice are valued, the authority and consent of parents are paramount, reflecting a broader concern for religious, cultural, and familial considerations. Parents might refuse to give their children in marriage to protect these values and ensure that the union aligns with the family's beliefs and interests.

Torrey's Topical Textbook

Exodus 22:17
If her father utterly refuse to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
Torrey's Topical Textbook

Deuteronomy 7:3
Neither shall you make marriages with them; your daughter you shall not give to his son, nor his daughter shall you take to your son.
Torrey's Topical Textbook

Library

On the Third, Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Commandments of the Church
... bound to comply with this precept, and parents should remind ... Again, the court might
legally decide in your favor ... Church wishes to give to the marriage of its ...
/.../kinkead/baltimore catechism no 4/lesson 36 on the third.htm

On Matrimony
... Thus persons might unwittingly marry with existing ... Sometimes, however, parents are
unreasonable in this matter ... Sometimes, too, they force marriage upon their ...
/.../kinkead/baltimore catechism no 4/lesson 26 on matrimony.htm

The Mission of the Christian Home.
... Hence parents, in their marriage alliance as well as in ... Many parents disqualify
themselves for their home-mission by ... a kingly power their love Might rule the ...
/.../christianbookshelf.org/philips/the christian home/chapter ii the mission of.htm

Prov. 22:06 the Duties of Parents
... the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in ... Parents, if you love your children,
let obedience be a ... character in the world,"though I might dwell much ...
/.../the upper room being a few truths for the times/chapter xvi prov 22 6 the.htm

Chapter xvii
... born of slave parents before these parents passed into ... of the implications of monogamous
marriage this fact ... Some nations might have called such rulers "kings ...
/...//christianbookshelf.org/leupold/exposition of genesis volume 1/chapter xvii.htm

The Evolution of a Father
... to the middle of February." [91] It might seem that ... well as of the institution of
Marriage are both ... The Family, consisting of parents, children, and often also ...
/.../the lowell lectures on the ascent of man/chapter ix the evolution of.htm

Letter cxxiii. To Ageruchia.
... is dead while she liveth." And that he might warn his ... Marriage then is a bond, and
widowhood is the ... hand taught the children to answer their parents by saying ...
/.../jerome/the principal works of st jerome/letter cxxiii to ageruchia.htm

Second visit to Nazareth - the Mission of the Twelve.
... behind on His first visit to Jerusalem, when His parents had to ... [3085] What then
might His Household ... like of those who give their daughters in marriage to sages ...
/.../the life and times of jesus the messiah/chapter xxvii second visit to.htm

On Helping the Poor.
... exhibiting to the orphans the care of parents; to the ... age of marriage, and ye give
her in marriage to a ... the oblations of your people, that ye might have enough ...
/.../various/constitutions of the holy apostles/sec i on helping the poor.htm

Of the Agreement of the Evangelists Matthew and Luke in the ...
... He is also David's Lord?" And that they might not say ... But now, that the parents may
not blush, and that ... may give their daughters in honourable marriage, not to ...
/.../sermons on selected lessons of the new testament/sermon i of the agreement.htm